British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 100

My dad's a urine sampler. He takes the piss.

My girlfriend was let go at the tampon factory. She got discharged.

I want to be like my dad, and masturbate into footwear. Big boots to fill.

You gotta get up pretty early in the morning to catch my dad out. He's a milkman.

My wife said, Where do you come from? I said, My penis. Didn't you know?

He must love those feguck-me shoes by Patrick Cox.

I want footwear to go away. Shoo!

Eye let you in toe a secret. I like to pick and Choo's.

My nose is on strike. I want to picket.

I went on the snotter diet. I just picked at my food.

Is it just me, or does Winnie-The-Pooh sound like a polite term for anal sex?

I'm so sick of Bugs Bunny. Keeps rabbitin' on...

You don't! You get down from a duck!

Where do sheep socialise? At the baaaaaaaaaaaaar.

My yoga teacher has been convicted of murder. She's going away for a long stretch.

Quote: AndyGWiz @ 28th April 2015, 6:58 AM BST

My yoga teacher has been convicted of murder. She's going away for a long stretch.

My old teacher was arrested for fraud, but she insists she's innocent.

Sounds like a case of miss taken identity.

Quote: Nick81 @ 28th April 2015, 10:49 AM BST

My old teacher was arrested for fraud, but she insists she's innocent.

Sounds like a case of miss taken identity.

My Art Teacher was down the pub, drawing a pint.

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