Quote: sglen @ 1st December 2013, 8:06 PM GMTOh, I see. I thought these were jokes he'd written at first, and he just wanted someone to explain to him why they were funny.
Me too, I was really confused. 
A couple of odd online jobs I did. Page 2
Quote: sootyj @ 1st December 2013, 8:11 PM GMTAt least Fritzel's kids won't need to worry about why they hate him.
I liked that better 
I think it may have been the wording of the first version that confused me.
Yeh almost all my stuff on Elance is clean.
Most of the people who want rude stuff, tend to be nut jobs or ass holes.
That said I'm negotiating with a very nice lady called Gaia to write web content.
She does tantric spanking for men, and Yoni worship/massage for the ladies.
I'm not sure what she does for the transgendered, but give her 200 bucks an hour and she'll have a damn good go.
Explanations were good, though I agree with gappy in disagreeing about 7, and possibly 10.
Most of yours good, particularly like this one:
"You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink, or teach it particle physics, there's a lot of things you can't do to a horse."
and this one:
"Roses are red violets are blue, but you'd have to explain this to a dog as they're colour blind."
Both very Milton Jones.
Quote: sootyj @ 1st December 2013, 8:29 PM GMTtantric spanking
Yoni worship/massage
Generally a great piece of analysis sootyj, and while I also disagree with one of two of your interpretations, I'd say that on the whole it's as insightful as any book I've seen on the subject.
Italics aren't hard to do:
1. "You know that strange sound you used to hear when you were going to sleep? That was me CHEWING the bed, out of sheer boredom! Oooh, how I hate you, I hate you so much it gives me energy! I have to get up early in the morning to hate you because there isn't time enough in the day."
Comedic over exaggeration. Where the idea is too an idea and blow it up beyond all reason. This joke works because it's an irrational amount of extra exaggeration
...press the quote function to see what's happening.
Quote: Tursiops @ 1st December 2013, 11:52 PM GMT"You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink, or teach it particle physics, there's a lot of things you can't do to a horse."
Yes, I liked that. I've heard another variation, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it pay your gas bill", which I think was from GIlbert's Fridge.
"You can lead a horse to water, but the judge said you can't f**k it"
I think there's a whole variety of horse to water jokes.
I like mine because it sort of says how you tell it, a lost bit of rumination.
I invented a joke yonks ago.