Benno - a sitcom Page 3

Perhaps more plot signalling is called for, but pilot episodes are hard as the temptation is to emphasise establish characters. But unless you have a strong story arc over the series each episode should be free standing, so that in effect the characters are introduced afresh each week. So try writing this as if it is not a pilot; assume we already know the characters, or rather that we are going to learn all we need to know about them by how they behave in relation to the plot of that episode.

Also you seem to be putting all your comic eggs in one character, Kenneth. Ideally Cheryl and Daniel need to be rounded funny characters as well.

How are you doing with this, Matty?

Hi Jennie, nice of you to ask. Still plugging away at it really. After coming to a bit of a dead end I employed the services of Mr Matthew Stott who gave me some great notes and much needed focus (He says I get 10% off my next script for kind words) Since then I have completely re written it but now a bit unsure what to do next ... probably re write it again.. but where does it end ? I have sent a 15 min version to Sitcommision so see what those guys say... or not say ?

Glad you've kept going with it.

Why not put some more of it up here for some more group feedback? Then there is always the BBC WR which I think is opening for comedy soon - then get chatting up some prod companies!

The doors for comedy open at the end of this month at BBC writer's room.

Is there an echo in here?

Just a slightly more accurate one,

http://www.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/send-a-script/

I'd say if you and the estimable Mr Stott reckon you're ready to go, then try WR and obtain a copy of the Writers guide and find prodcos that take direct submissions, there are a few.

Then and this is important, don't go mad. Send to maybe 3 or so and wait for feedback. Because even at the point of perfection you may need to startover completely or do extensive work.

It's a random business like that.

I'd be interested to see a bit.

Also if you can be bothered find a pub, find some actors, most cities have reading groups and organise a read through. Get some strangers in and hear what it sounds like read aloud infront of an audience.

Cheers for the advice guys. I have considered sending it off to production companies and have compiled a shortlist of (what I think are) suitable ones, but not sure how to go about sending it so someone might actually read it. As you know most places say they don't take unsolicited material.

Yeah, I did actually send it off to the last BBC writers room in December (Foolishly before I sent it to Matt Stott) It got past the initial 10 pages for a full read but that was it. They do say you can't re submit the same idea. However I have changed it quite a bit so might just change the name of it and chance my arm ? What's the worst they can do ?.. chop my arm off ??

Sooty. I think I read through would be really useful. I did go to the LCW a year or so ago before I started writing. So might show my little face in there again.

Cheers Matt

I'd say email and ask if you can resubmit or change the title and be sure it really is diferent

I think if you email them they'll have to say no - if they say yes to you, they'll have to do it for everyone.

I'd change the title and the names of the characters. It won't take you long to come up with another set of suitable names and substitute them. They won't notice. (But then I am a sneaky sneaky lawyer type).

Also, if it really is a lot better - they won't care. They are just trying to avoid those that won't take advice and just submit the same thing time after time after time.

As for the "no unsolicited scripts" rule - I have always taken that to be a flexible beast. Surely it is just to stop floods of crap scripts clogging up their inbox. If you have something good - they want to read it.

Find an email address for a producer (usually easy enough if you get the email format for the company) and send them a little two paragraph email explaining the project and asking if they would like a read.

Or just attach the script as a PDF. What's the worse that can happen? In these days of technology, they just have to press the delete button.

I was brought up to be very deferential, always putting the needs of others first and never asking for what I actually wanted or needed.

I have realised that this gets you nowhere. I am all for considering others - but if I want something, I pursue it single-mindedly. Sometimes we have to tread on a toe or two to get where we want to be.

Sensible on that, as the old Yiddish proverb goes
If you have to ask it ain't kosher.

One final thought, the experience may have improved you as a writer.

In which case maybe just start over completely. I've always written a better second or third sitcom.

Infact looking back over my history of scribbling the first ones now seem awful, the current passable and I'm enthusiastic about the future.

If I ever get around to writing it.

Quote: sootyj @ 23rd April 2014, 7:58 PM BST

Sensible on that, as the old Yiddish proverb goes
If you have to ask it ain't kosher.

View original

What do you mean?

If you're asking permission for something you don't think you should do, then you shouldn't do it, because you know you shouldn't/

Oh, I never ask permission to do anything.

you just play by your own rules