Paedophile insurance Page 2

Thats too complex and distracting but its got me thinking of another sketch

Quote: sglen @ 27th November 2013, 10:25 PM GMT

Actually, I thought that too...might be good to play on that. He could be appalled and says he's not a paedophile when first offered? Then reveal that it's to protect him against paedophiles.

I think it was mostly commas lacking. But sorry to bring it up if dyspraxia affects that.

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No problem are they better in the second draft.

I appreciate helpful advice, I've had it used to beat me over the head by lesser writers.

Quote: sootyj @ 27th November 2013, 10:25 PM GMT

Thats too complex and distracting but its got me thinking of another sketch

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Yeah it had me thinking as well, someone knocking on the door of an old BBC presenter offering to sell him paedo insurance against any future court cases, or a spoof advert offering paedo insurance to ex BBC employees.

2nd version worked better & the ending made more sense

And here's some ??????????????? if you are short.

Second draft much more snappy but I'd finish it at 'Not arf'.

Did not read the original, but the edit made me laugh. Not 'arf.