Yep, I'm just the same, I've had a bit of a block lately as 'real life' gets too demanding but somehow I know there's more in there to come out....said the actress...
Snack Attack Page 3
I haven't given up either Shan, I just need my money luck to change enough for me to prove a long standing point to myself.
I think you're getting soon good advice on this thread Teddy. If you're very happy writing as a hobby (and nothing wrong with that), think about what's going to give you satisfaction. If you're looking to write for some purpose, consider the skitcomp that Mr Monkhouse tirelessly and generously runs week in, week out, on behalf of the forum. It's a good reason to think of a premise and put up a sketch for others to read. It might get votes or a mention (or it might not) but it's traditional not to offer feedback (good or bad) and that suits many people.
If you're writing as a hobby but want to improve, then it's worth listening to the experienced suggestions offered on critique - otherwise what's the point?
And if you want to see/hear your work produced you need to get it out there. Just like everyone else - its a very very competitive environment and talent alone doesn't always get you there. Seize opportunities, write to specific briefs (even if it's not your usual tone/style). Get to know people and make them want to work with you. Ultimately, there's no short cut. I note your tagline is "If I was ever given the chance to shine I would dazzle!". I think the opps are out there - I don't think anyone's going to give you (alone) more "chances" in this competitive environment. It's also a test of interpersonal skills and ability to network....
And think what you can do yourself. Shandonbelle mentioned animation. That's a really good idea. I've played with Muvizu (which is free animation software). It's hard work, and takes a iot of effort But you can then podcast it or put it on YouTube.
As for this sketch, as others have said, the set up is strong; I feel I know the chef, but then it stops!
But good luck with whichever route you take.
Quote: Tursiops @ 24th November 2013, 12:23 PM GMTThe punch for me misses the target. Who are we laughing at, the chef or the scouser?
This is bang on, I'd say. There are potentially two comical characters here, but neither is successfully undercutting the other. I'm not sure if the chef is too OTT (and meerkat vomit is beyond decadence and somewhere into surreality) for the down to earth customer, or the customer is too boorish for the restaurant.
So, yeah, this one doesn't really fly for me. But the conmflationo f high and low catering has definitely got somethign in it.
Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ 24th November 2013, 11:44 AM GMTHe doesn't have to see any of it at all, that's the point. As for Showcase I never put stuff in there as it is plagued with Welsh people whose sidekicks look like Robbie Savage, it's a disturbing image it really is.
I think showcase needs welsh people with sidekicks who look like famous footballers, and critique should be full of scottish people with sideburns who look like famous rugbyallers.
I'm with Marc here - the punchline doesn't live up to the long and elaborate build-up, which as in much of your writing is very amusing. Oddly enough, I hadn't noticed the Voila/viola mistake until it was pointed out!