Know your punter

We see a man with a beard and long flowing hair that is dangling from under a baseball cap

He is walking down the high street with a really attractive woman

A street canvasser holding out flyers walks up to him

CANVASSER
Hair Loss Centre sir, 50% off with this flyer

The man brushes the canvasser aside with extreme prejudice.

MAN
No thank you!

The woman just smiles apologetically

CANVASSER
Why not sir?

MAN
Why would I be interested?

The woman looks curious

CANVASSER
Because you're thin on top sir

MAN
Am I hell as like!

The woman looks suspicious

CANVASSER
Sir I've been doing this for years, you're hair is thinning simple as! I 'm just offering you the chance to face facts and get a discount

MAN
I am not thinning on top!

CANVASSER
Sir we both know you would have whipped that cap off the minute I suggested it.

Woman waits for man to fling cap

MAN
No I wouldn't have

Woman now looks crestfallen

CANVASSER
Sir you tick every box on the profile

The canvasser ticks of each word with his fingers as he speaks

CANVASSER

Cap

Pony tail

Beard

Body Warmer

T Shirt of band that hasn't had record out since 1974

Brushed denims

Keys hanging of belt loop

Cowboy Boots

The woman is now looking at the man with disgust

MAN
I'm not completely bald!, I have an egg, just a bloody egg sized....

The woman backs off then breaks into a trot

The canvasser consoles the man then leads him into the Hair Loss Centre where we see a waiting room full of men in baseball caps sobbing and holding 50% discount flyers.

That's a cracker.

Thanks Stonked its more an observation than a sketch though

Yes I think this one has potential.

Thanks Ste

Terrific observation.

I really like -

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ 15th November 2013, 3:02 PM GMT

CANVASSER
Sir we both know you would have whipped that cap off the minute I suggested it.

Woman waits for man to fling cap

MAN
No I wouldn't have

Woman now looks crestfallen

View original

Just needs 'Pause' or 'beat' adding before he speaks.

Thanks Playfull looks like I hit a coconut after throwing all day

...this, on the other hand, seems like a nice idea.

I've decided I might make allmy posts one long sentence, you'll all just have to keep up.

My grammar is awful I'll have to admit that, but it appears you liked the sketch so it's a win win for me.

Nice visual at the end

Is that a whiff of a baseball cap I can smell Carlos?
No doubt yours has a dragon on it alongside the word Cymru?

I started going bald at 25, and after a few years of denial I took a bic razor to my head and shved off the remaining stubble (I now use a Mach 3) I don't like being bald I wish I had my afro back, I dream about using an afro comb again.

But I do know a few people who wear baseball caps to hide the fact they are loosing their hair, and in work I take great pride in pointing out to people when I see a little bald spot appearing, I am jealous of people with hair, you can do so much with it.

In 1970's TV Cop show parlance

"You wanted to look like Shaft but ended up looking like Kojack."

I myself have hair like a Lion and have a tendency to strut past bald people.

However every Christmas when I was given the face behind a screen game that had the iron filings and magic pen.

I always drew the Homburg hat on the poor bastard first and the beard second
So as you can see I can also be sensitive to the issue.

Wouldn't the the woman know what's under his baseball cap? how long have they been going out??

They had just met and like all bald people the man was a liar.

I don't know if you know this but nine out of ten serial killers are bald and the tenth is thinning (Honestly)

The Vikings had a saying "Never trust a bald man and never buy a Mermaid a pair of tights!"