British Comedy Guide

On Top in the Big Top

It's dark in the city

We see an angry crowd burning a Big Top tent

They then race around circus vehicles pulling out terrified performers

The mob is ugly as they circle the performers

One man in the mob speaks for all

MAN
Where's that filthy f**king clown? It's him we want, him and his f**king perverted dwarf sidekick!

A Strong man in bog standard leopard skin kit speaks on behalf of the performers

STRONGMAN
They left, look we had no part in this, we wouldn't dare shelter them.

The Lion Tamer chips in, he stands on a trunk to be heard

LION TAMER
Many of us have teenage daughters ourselves

MAN
Well if they're not here where are they?

LION TAMER
We have no idea, so I think you should go home

MAN
Oh you do, do you? Well if we catch them we're going to rip them to f**king pieces and then drown them in custard, what do you think of that then?

We hear a large honk from the trunk that the Lion Tamer is standing on

All the performers shake their heads then start fighting their way out

Share this page