The Bank of England
A wood paneled office lined with very serious portraits
A man dressed as Louis XXI is sat behind a very imposing old desk
Facing him is an underling
MAN
This is a crisis Jenkins
JENKINS
No doubt sir
MAN
Are you aware of the concept of synchronicity Jenkins?
JENKINS
Vaguely Sir
MAN
Well let me tell you this, when something this grave happens the last thing you need is the most incompetent Prime Minister in history at the helm with a Cabinet of fools for a crew.
JENKINS
Surely they know what they're doing sir, they are all millionaires after all sir
MAN
That's the problem, everyone one of them has inherited their wealth and in doing so have led financially cloistered lives outside of reality.
JENKINS
Surely they can't be that detached sir?
An old fashioned telephone rings on the desk
MAN
It's me Prime Minister I came straight to the Bank from your function.
Yes it was a nice bash sir
Yes you certainly did look like Gordon of Khartoum sir
Prime Minister getting back to the situation if I may. There's little we can do other than let the situation run its course.
Yes like a Hare sir
There is a chance that the situation might settle of it's own
Yes,like one of Matrons trifles sir
In the meantime sir you do know that there'll be a run on the pound? That's for certain. So interest rates will have to rise dramatically just to stabalise it.
How bad?
Well if the currency fluctuations don't stabilse then we may have a rare form of pseudo quantative easing on our hands caused by the actions of the markets and if that happens it would create what I could only describes an almost contradictory Malthusian Trap coupled with a reversal of basic Keynesian principles.
Yes that does sound very bad sir
Yes, very very bad, I agree
Ah, Ok let me put it this way, the price of a loaf of bread may hit forty five pounds within a week!
It's currently at £1.43 sir
Yes that is a bit of a saddle jolt sir
Our options are limited sir, we are in the hands of the markets and the speculators.
Yes we're the Fox sir
Sir the reality is unless the matter stabilises soon we are going to be unable to influence events and that will make the Wiemar Republics inflation problems look tame in comparison.
The Wiemar was in Germany sir
I know that they're just the 'Silly Bosch' sir, but that doesn't make our situation any better!
You want my view in a nutshell?
Well sir I believe we are in effect just passengers on a very fast train that has no driver.
No I don't f**king know if it has First Class Compartments and a Buffet Bar.!
