Is punching up the comedy for a lady comedian who teaches other ladies to do the funny
I've started dating again recently and boy have things changed since I've been away.
For a start the pictures are in colour and they've got sound.
I kid, no the biggest change is everyone's hooking upon computer. But things haven't changed that much.
Basically you can choose between plentyoffish.com, which is free.
And Eharmony.com, where you pay. I was warey of Eharmony at first on account of paying for someone you might have sex with, was like using an unreliable pimp, where both you and your potential partner got to pay.
So I tried plentyoffish.com first. At first I thought it was a site full of baldmen, till I put my glasses on and realized guys were sending me photos of their penises. Then expecting me to send photos of boobs in return.
Great not only am I being offered dates by sleazes, but sleazes who can't even get the basic rules of negotiation straight. If I send you a photograph of my boobs what do I get that I haven't got already. A photo of your penis at the beach or maybe wearing a little woolly hat.
So I tried Eharmony and it starts off with endless quizzes, what do I do for a living, what films do I like, what are my career plans. It's kind of like a cyber match and it pairs you up with people it thinks would make a good match. It's like your mom but if you get really pissed you can pull the plug without the cops paying a visit. All I say it's galling to hear a machine originally designed by NASA thinks you should be dating, a mortician or a school janitor with a lazy eye.
So I redid the questions and got some better matches, but their AI keeps butting in with suggestions and making suggestions about who you should date,
My poor pal Eric who's bald was banned because his profile pic was him in a polo neck and they thought he was sending photos of his penis.
I suggested he tried Plenty of Fish as it was a f**king free for all. He phoned me very upset, I forgot he was dyslexic and read my email as, it was free f**king for all and he got himself banned. Which is incredible for Plenty of Fish, frankly I think it got it's name because it was the place to go if you really wanted to f**k a fish.
So Plenty of Fish is a little like a college dating, all it needs is a USB beer bong you can plug into your computer.
Whilst Eharmony is like have your dates matchmade by Hal from 2001.
Are you sure this course of behavior is wise Jessica.
Jessica I don't believe Barrack Obamas chief adviser on shoes is on a dating website
Jessica I'm going to have to terminate your conversation for your own good.
In the end I just emailed them, send me any old dick head and leave me alone.
Which was embarrassing as they sent me Eric's profile and he's gay.
