hi all, ok, having listened to the comments I've tried to put more plot into the first two scenes and have rewritten them accordingly. Hope this works better 
YXY - Pilot Episode - Scene 1 - Page 1
1.Int. Kitchen of Gran - Mid afternoon
Sophie enters through exterior door carrying two bags of shopping.
Sophie
(Calling)
Hi Gran, it's just me
Gran (O.O.V.)
Oh hello love, you alright?
Sophie
Yes thanks; I've picked up some bits and pieces from the supermarket.
Gran (O.O.V.)
Ooh thanks love. First day back at work next Monday isn't it?
Sophie
Yes Gran.
Gran (O.O.V.)
Dressed as a girl?
Sophie
Yes Gran.
Gran (O.O.V.)
They'd have shot you ya know...during the war.
Sophie
Really Gran?
(Shakes head, smiling, as she puts shopping away)
Gran (O.O.V.)
Oh yes. They'd have put you against a wall and shot you...for being a whoopsie.
Sophie
You sure about that Gran? I thought that only happened in Germany
Gran (O.O.V.)
Well maybe, but they'd have taken one look at you and said 'Voss is dass?' and that would have been it, up against a wall and 'BANG'.
Sophie
Well thankfully things have changed a bit since then Gran.
And I'm not a whoopsie Gran, I'm transgender.
Gran (O.O.V.)
Ooh yes, things have definitely changed. Which reminds me, what's book ache?
Sophie
Erm, well I'm not really sure, but if I had to make an educated guess I would say it's probably some sort of repetitive strain injury...possibly common amongst librarians. What context is it in?
Gran (O.O.V.)
It was in one of those message thingies, the ones from that dating site.
Sophie
Are you still using that Gran?
Gran (O.O.V.)
Well, you know, it's just a bit of fun.
Sophie
(Walks into adjoining room, finds gran sitting at table at laptop, gives her a kiss and looks over her shoulder at the screen)
I see you're still down as being twenty seven years old Gran.
Gran
Well I got the numbers the wrong way round didn't I...and everybody lies about their age on these things anyway.
Sophie
(Takes a seat opposite gran)
Yeah, by four or five years Gran; not forty five years. So what does this message say?
Gran
(Looks at screen and starts to move mouse around)
Just a second...let me find it...Here we go.
(Clears throat and reads message)
Hi there, Looked at your profile and liked what I saw. I'm trying to arrange a book ache session for a few friends at the end of the month and was wondering if you'd like to join us. Look forward to hearing from you, Hunglow74, kiss, kiss, kiss, smiley face.
Sophie
(Confused and somewhat horrified look on her face)
Erm, just spell book ache for me would you Gran.
Gran
(Spells out)
B-U-K-K-A-K-E
Sophie
(Horrified)
That's bukkake Gran
Gran
(Smiling)
That sounds exotic. So, would I be interested in a session of that?
Sophie
No Gran, I don't think so.
(Under her breath, aside)
Not if I ever want to have nightmare free sleep again you don't.
Gran
Fair enough. Which reminds me; I know it's a bit short notice but I need you to move out by this Friday if at all possible.
Sophie
Oh. Right. Can I ask why?
Gran
Your cousin Gemma finishes her tour of duty on Saturday and she'll be wanting her old room back.
Sophie
You make it sound like she's a member of the armed forces Gran instead of a dancer on a cruise ship.
Gran
Some of the stories she could tell you make facing the Taliban look like child's play. Maybe you can move back in with David?
Sophie
I don't know, we have spoken that much since...all this.
Gran
He's a good lad that David, brave as a lion.
Sophie
(Smiling)
Yeah, he's a good lad.
Gran
Do you remember that time over the park when those big lads were picking on you?
Sophie
Yes Gran.
Gran
(Emphasises by adopting a fighting stance)
Like a flash, there he was, telling 'em that if they wanted you they'd have to go through him first.
Sophie
Yes Gran, I remember.
Gran
(Pauses as if remembering the day herself)
You both took a wallopin' that day didn't you?
Sophie
Yes Gran.
Gran
Which reminds me, that postmans' been down the street again.
Sophie
(Looks confused)
Err, I'm pretty sure that's their job Gran, walking down streets and stuff. It'd be pretty hard for them to do their job otherwise.
Gran
(Shakes her head)
Not the normal one, not that miserable old bleeder. The young one, the one who was working when you stayed over those few weeks.
Sophie
Oh that one?
Gran
Yes, that one. I bumped into him this morning, just as I was on my way out to see Maud. You remember Maud? She's the one with the percolated colon.
Sophie
You sure you don't mean perforated colon Gran?
Gran
Well possibly, though with the smells that she's been emitting lately it wouldn't surprise me if it was percolating; brewing away all types of nastiness. I tell you, they're enough to make the dog wince.
Sophie
(Looks out towards the window)
I only really saw him that one time...when I had to sign for that package.
Gran
Well he came right up to the door, bold as brass, just as I was leaving. He asked if the pretty young woman who'd been here before was available. I said, no, I was busy; but if he meant the other one then no, she wasn't available either.
Sophie
(Horrified)
Gran, you didn't?
Gran
I did. Then he asked if I'd give you his number and perhaps you could give him a call sometime.
(Gran hands Sophie a piece of paper with a name and a number on it)
Sophie
(Looks at paper)
Well maybe I'll give him a call sometime.
Gran
You do that love. Now I'm going to have to love you and leave you, I can feel something percolating away myself and I don't want to miss Monty in half hour, he's showing us how to care for courgettes today.
(Gives Sophie a kiss on the cheek and leaves room)
Oh, and give David a ring, I'm sure he'd love to hear from you.
Sophie
Yes Gran, I'll do it now.
(Retrieves phone from bag and starts call)
Hi...David?... It's Sophie
Scene End
YXY- Pilot Episode - Scene 2
Int: Sophie is in the flat she now shares again with David. Dressed in a dressing gown, she has her feet up on the settee where she's sitting trying to paint her toenails, her tongue poking out in frustration. The front door slams.
Sophie
(Accidentally swipes nail polish brush across her toes)
Oh you twat!
David enters carrying a bag of takeaway food and enters the kitchen area situated behind the settee.
David
Hello
(Puts takeaway bag on table and looks over)
What you doing?
Sophie
(Makes self-evident pose, holding up nail polish and brush)
Painting my nails
David
(Quizzical)
Why?
Sophie
Cos I'm a girl.
David
Oh right, yeah
(Turns and takes two plates from a cupboard)
Do you want Chinese, I bought plenty.
Sophie
(Enquiring as she reaches across to table for nail cleanser and pads))
Have you got chicken balls?
David
(Opening packages and depositing food onto plates)
Yeah, but the doctor says I should just keep applying the cream and it'll clear up in no time.
Sophie
(Mimes laughing and then looks nervously at Dave)
Thanks for letting me move back in Dave; you're a good mate.
Dave
Don't worry about it. I was in a quandary anyway, I had to choose between a porn star and a volleyball player as my next flatmate and I was having real trouble in deciding which one I was going to let down.
Sophie
(Continues smiling nervously)
No, really Dave thanks.
Dave
(Waves a 'don't mention it' hand towards Sophie)
Sophie
Anyway, you're back early. Date not go well?
David
(Finishes portioning out food)
It wasn't brilliant. Fair play to her, she did say the picture she'd sent me was a bit old. It was of her and some friends from uni. I should have clocked something wasn't quite right by the fact one of her mates was wearing a Wham t-shirt but I just thought she was being a bit retro, you know, like students do.
Sophie
(Smiling)
So she didn't look much like her photo then?
David
(Collects cutlery from drawer and brings both food and cutlery round)
Well when I saw her for the first time I thought 'Stunner'.
Sophie
(Hurriedly puts down nail polish remover, scoots back a little to make more space and accepts proffered plate with a smile)
Thanks. Well I bet that was a nice surprise.
David
(Shaking head as he sits down, placing plate on table in front of him)
No...no, you misunderstand me. I was thinking 'Please, someone 'stun her' and I might be able to make my escape'.
Sophie
(Pulls face)
Not your type then?
David
(Pauses with forkful of food near mouth)
Well, put it this way, she looked like Brian Blessed in a dress...but not quite as effeminate.
Sophie
(Smiling mischievously)
Sounds just like your type.
David
(Pulls face)
Sophie
So you scarpered sharpish then?
David
No I didn't actually. Ok, so she wasn't what I'd call physically ideal but she'd obviously gone to the trouble of getting ready and making the trip so it was only fair and right for me to go along with the date.
Sophie
(Nodding)
She spotted you before you could bail didn't she?
David
(Nodding)
Yup.
Sophie
(Just as she's about to take a mouthful of food)
So what happened?
David
Well we got a drink and got sat at our table. Then, after a few minutes of small talk, I used my fall-back excuse and then I'm out the door
(Makes fast hand movement)
Pssheew
(Takes a small mouthful of food and through the food says)
Oh and if anyone asks your Dad's dead.
Sophie
(Eyebrows furrowed, fork halfway to mouth)
Err yeah, thanks for reminding me. Just so you know I'm well aware that my Dad's dead, he's been dead for quite a while now.
David
(Shakes head)
No...what I mean is if some strange looking woman should turn up looking for me then I'm not available because your Dad's dead. And you should try and look a bit upset about it too.
Sophie
So how exactly did we get to this state of affairs?
David
(Puts down fork and turns towards Sophie)
Right, ok, so you're my date right?
Sophie
(Backs away a little)
That's kind of weird but...ok.
David
Ok, so (goes into date posture) Yeah, really? You like bricklaying?... that's cool...yeah, bricks are great, I mean...Hold on (touches trouser pocket) Sorry, I didn't want to spoil our date but I put it on vibrate for emergencies and it's just gone off...I better just take this.
(Takes phone out of pocket and puts it to his ear)
Hello?...OHMYGOD! YOU'RE DADS DEAD!...yeah, I'm on my way.
(Puts phone on table as he explains)
Then its apologies, money on the table for the meal and taxi fare home, promises to call later, and out the door, free as a bird.
Sophie
(Nods head)
And you've used that excuse before have you?
David
(Nodding and resuming eating)
Well not exactly like that but yeah. Remember that weekend we had in Amsterdam when we needed to leave on the Friday morning?
Sophie
(Looking contemplative)
No. I remember leaving on the Friday morning but that's about it. I don't remember anything else. Including why you have a tattoo on your left buttock that reads 'David loves Corey73' or why I can never look at an avocado without my eyes watering.
David
(Grinning)
Yeah. Well originally I wasn't able to get the Friday off so on the Thursday morning
(Mimes holding a phone to his ear)
...'What? Oh my god, you're Dad's dead!'
Sophie
That's doesn't explain why they gave you the time off, it's not like it was your dad.
David
Well they know that I'm very close to my flatmate.
(Looks embarrassed)
You're like a broth...sister to me.
Sophie
They don't actually know about what's happening now though do they?
David
No. This is all new; they don't know about...this.
Sophie
(Look concerned, smiles nervously and plays with food)
You are alright with this aren't you?
David
What? Yeah...yeah...I mean, yeah. Obviously, being honest, it's a bit strange and it's going to take some getting used to...
(Pauses, looks down at plate)
...but you're still my best mate, I still love ya. Just now you prefer walking around in a skirt instead of chasing it.
David/Sophie
(Both continue eating for a few seconds then David notices the piece of paper on the table)
David
(Gestures towards piece of paper)
Have you given that bloke a call yet?
Sophie
No, I sent him a text. I just said thanks for getting in touch and if he wanted to, could he give me a call tomorrow...any time after six.
David
What did you say his name was again?
Sophie
James.
David
(Shakes his head)
Ooh, there's a dodgy name. Not like David, there's a solid, dependable name.
Sophie
(Confused and slightly defensive)
What do you mean, dodgy?
David
Proven fact Soph. There are certain names that throughout history have been associated with dodgy characters. Take Al for instance; Al Capone and Al Bundy.
Sophie
Ok, well first off, yes, Al Capone was a gangster and was capable of some horrendous crimes, but, he was also the guy who opened up the first soup kitchens during the great depression. And as for Al Bundy, he was the guy from Married with children, you're thinking of Ted Bundy.
David
(Slightly confused look)
Am I? Ok, well what about Peter. Peter the Great and Peter Sutcliffe.
Sophie
What did Peter the Great do that was so bad?
David
I dunno, but you don't get a name like Peter the Great by being nice do you? It's the kind of name you give yourself and then force other people to call you...like Ming the Merciless. And you can't deny that Peter Sutcliffe was an evil twat. During his reign of terror there were thousands of women who were afraid to leave their houses at night, scared even in their own bedrooms in case he appeared. I bet you can't name a single David who has had that effect on women.
Sophie
(Considers for a second before replying)
Hasselhoff
David
(Opens his mouth and raises a finger to argue and then pauses for a few seconds)
Ok, fair point; I'll give you that one.
David/Sophie
(Continue eating in silence for a few seconds)
David
So have you decided yet, you know, whether you're interested in cock?
Sophie
Dave!
David
It's a fair question. I mean if you're considering seeing this guy then you must have some interest, there's got to be an element of gayness in there somewhere.
Sophie
It's not that easy Dave. If I had a man's mind in a man's body then yes, I would say that I'm gay. But I've got a woman's mind in a man's body so it's not quite that simple. Anyway, I don't think women think that way about men.
David
What do you mean?
Sophie
Well. Take David Beckham for example. Now there is one handsome man. He's got the face, the body, the thighs, the flat, toned stomach, those beautiful eyes and that cheeky grin. He comes as a complete package. And although there are probably millions of women who would happily go to bed with him, when they fantasise about him they don't just fantasise about his cock, they think about all of him.
(Takes a small mouthful of food before continuing)
And Johnny Depp. Another guy who has everything going for him; handsome, intelligent, charming. But if I were to fantasise about Johnny Depp I'd be thinking of being face to face with Captain Jack Sparrow, not Captain Jacks' marrow, if you see what I mean.
David
(Nods, finishes meal and puts plate on table)
Sophie
So, if I had to class myself as anything I would say that I'm probably a male, bi-curious lesbian.
David
(Nods, goes as if to say something and then seems to lose himself in thought. Slowly his hand moves out from his side and he takes hold of a cushion, slowly drawing back towards his groin)
Sophie
(Watches for a few seconds before remarking)
You're thinking of lesbians aren't you Dave?
David
(Slowly nods)
Sophie
Specifically, those lesbians on that DVD in your room?
David
(Slowly nods again)
Sophie
(A little uncomfortably looks down at her plate before looking at Dave from beneath her lashes)
Night Dave
David
(Almost before Sophie finishes Dave has grabbed the cushion to his groin and is off the settee)
Night Soph.
Sophie
(Watches Dave scoot out of the room before smiling and starting to giggle a little)
Scene End
