JUSTIN - Proposed changes to the Immigration Bill would require bankers, landlords and DVLA staff to check the immigration status of their clients in a move known as "Oh go on you do it. I'm super busy. I promised to feed next doors cat and everything" But how will landlords cope with this new found power?
GRAMS Rising Damp theme tune
MISS JONES-
Philip! Philip! Can you come here I have a flimsily reason to see you so I can throw myself at you?
RIGSBY enters
MISS JONES -
Rigsby, you're not Philip
RIGSBY -
How can you tell, is it because I'm white and he's black?
MISS JONES -
If you don't mind me saying Mr. Rigsby you're not putting as much effort into your racist comments as you used to
RIGSBY -
Well it occurred to me that although common place today if people from the future heard such comments it might make them feel uncomfortable so I'm trying to phase out the old racism Anyway Miss Jones, I'm afraid Philip is busy upstairs with an immigration official I sent to see him. I was suspicious of his papers. What kind of man reads the Guardian?
WOMAN 1 enters. F/X cat purring.
WOMAN 1 -
Mr. Rigsby? I'm from immigration.
RIGSBY -
Why are you holding my cat? Come here Vienna.
RIGSBY takes VIENNA
RIGSBY -
So are you deporting Philip? I was in two minds whether to contact you are not and then I thought "no Rigsby" - because I call myself by own surname - "Rigsby" I said "it's your duty"
WOMAN 1 -
Thank you Mr. Rigsby
RIGSBY -
I did what any petty minded man would do
WOMAN 1 -
No I mean thank you for admitting it's your cat. This cat has a bit of Siamese in him and its papers aren't in order.
RIGSBY -
I've never seen that cat in my life
F/X cat being thrown to the ground
WOMAN 1 -
You're coming with me
F/X Rigsby being dragged away
END