MARGARET -Justin, have you finished that Royal Mail share prices sketch yet?
JUSTIN -
It's all in hand, babe. I mean Margaret. Do you remember the Two Ronnies four candles sketch?
MARGARET -
Yes
JUSTIN -
It's basically that except we under price the candles and get excited when they resell for higher
MARGARET -
Then what happens?
JUSTIN -
I don't know we'll get Nadia to do a Welsh accent people seem to like that. (Rubbish Welsh accent) Boyo. She does it better
MARGARET -
This is exactly what Barry Norman was talking about. You need a story not an idea that runs out of steam. At least in the movies they can plug the holes with special affects what can we do?
JUSTIN -
We can pretend to have special effects (Impressed) Wow look at that.
MARGARET -
I suppose that might work. But how are we going to finish this sketch about not finishing a sketch?
JUSTIN -
Nadia
NADIA -
(Overly Welsh) On with the show!
END
JUSTIN -
The London Eye gives tourists the chance to see the attractive side of London whilst pretending the bad parts don't exist, kind of like the early parts of a relationship except instead of an ill advised Alvin the Chipmunk tattoo it's Peckham. But for one day only as part of International Girls Day some famous faces turned the tourist attraction into a mentoring centre for local girls
F/X gun fire
JUSTIN -
Amongst the mentors was comedian Jenny Éclair and
F/X car screeches and explosions
JUSTIN -
What are you doing!?
WOMAN 1 -
This sketch runs out of steam fairly quickly so it needs to be jazzed up
JUSTIN -
This sketch is fine as it is
WOMAN 1-
If I can guess a line from the sketch will you let me fix the sketch?
JUSTIN -
Em okay but I don think you can I worked pretty hard on this bad boy
WOMAN 1 -
Well the mentoring took place in a glass pod so something along the lines of "women in glass houses shouldn't throw stones unless they want to break the glass ceiling"?
JUSTIN -
Well yeah but it's the way I say it
F/X Gun Fire
JUSTIN -
Fine let's just move on to the next sketch
WOMAN 1 -
Which is?
JUSTIN -
A spoof of the new series of Homeland
WOMAN 1-
No I haven't seen it yet. La La La
F/X of everything at once
WOMAN 1 -
I can't hear you
END