NJ: What's Getting Cheaper

NEWSJACK ENTRY

JUSTIN:In a time where the cost of living continues to rise, it was a surprise to hear this week that in parts of New England the price of lobster - usually a luxury good - has plummeted. It's at this point that I would normally take the opportunity to make a joke about people not having to be so shellfish with their money, despite the economic pinch - but this time I made sure that they put a claws in my contract. Anyway, it got us thinking: in this era of financial hardship, what other things are getting cheaper...

EXT. STREET MARKET. DAY.

FX:HUSTLE AND BUSTLE OF A BUSY MARKET.

TRADER #1:Get your novelty masks! Your childrens' Rolf Harris novelty masks! Two for a paaand. (Pause) Three for a paaand. Rolf Harris kids' mask, three for a paaand. Going cheap. (Pause) Come on you lot, he ain't even been convicted yet. Two Little Boys was just the name of a song! Five for a paaand, children's novelty masks of...a grey-haired old man, who looks a bit like Rolf Harris but definitely isn't.

ANOTHER PART OF THE MARKET.

TRADER#2:Hot off the pirate DVD printing press a.k.a my uncle's bedroom, and still showing in cinemas. My friends, you cannot turn this offer down. 'Diana': the movie. Naomi Watts, and that guy from Lost. Special offer just for you: six pounds. Going once.... (Pause) Okay, since I'm in a good mood today. For you, special discount price: four pounds. (Pause) What is the matter with you lot? Do you not want to see the car crash event of the year?

CUSTOMERS BOO.

TRADER#2:I meant the quality of the film, not the... Ach, fine. Two pounds. I'm practically giving it away. No...?

ANOTHER PART OF THE MARKET.

TRADER#3:Tickets! Get your preview tickets! EastEnders Christmas Special premiere in the West End. Be the first to see the seasonal episode featuring the new pub landlord, Mister Danny Dyer. Fifteen pounds. (Pause) Ten pound tickets! Don't miss out. Be the first to tell your friends about what's in store for patrons of the Queen Vic. (Pause) One pound? Anyone? I'll take one pound. (Pause) Free tickets to the EastEnders Christmas Special! (Pause) Five pounds! I'll give you five pounds if you take one of my tickets. Please. Come on people, he's not that bad!

THE END

Too bad taste this one I'm afraid.

Agree with Shandy. And they did Danny Dyer last week. Though that didn't stop them from doing another Jane Austen sketch this week, despite doing one in episode 1, and a Michael Gove sketch (rapping) which was basically same idea as the Michael Gove poems sketch from a couple of weeks ago.

I don't think they can even do the first bit, as that court case is still in progress, so you're not making it difficult for them to use your stuff.

The sketch is not blowing me away; neither in terms of its concept nor gags, I'm afraid. Needs to be more of a unique angle, I would say.

Dan

Thanks for replying, everyone.

This was whipped up on the Monday morning, and in hindsight is probably not the right tone for the show. Though I'd argue it's not in bad taste - it's mocking the public's reaction to events that are not to their taste.

On a sidenote: I was in the foyer of the Royal Festival Hall a few months before the Rolf Harris scandal kicked off, and he was there about to perform. Fans - adults and children - were wearing Rolf Harris face masks. It was all a bit freaky. But got me thinking: somewhere, someone is looking at a warehouse full of these masks right now, wondering what the hell to do with them.

"Come on you lot, he ain't even been convicted yet." Cracked me up.