INTRO
Justin:
Fulham FC have announced they are to remove the ugly uninteresting eye sore that plagues their club. Officials were reminded that Mohamed Al Fayed left in the summer and have now decided to remove the Michael Jackson statue instead.
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Posh Male:
Just what are we going to do with this statue? Who would even want it?
Posh Female:
I certainly don't want it in my mansion. Those ghoulish eyes staring at me in the night would be worse than being given a ticket for a London Duck Tour.
Posh Male:
We could try and flog it to Uri Geller?
Posh Female:
No. Where would he get the money for it? He hasn't been getting any work since Dynamo showed up.
Posh Male:
He's still in a coma after he bent Boris Johnson's dessert spoon at a charity function.
Posh Female:
Oh. What about Martin Bashir? Do you still have his number?
Posh Male:
We already tried him. He just kept trying to take photos of it in dodgy scenarios.
Posh Female:
We could try and rebrand him? He is known as the king of pop. How about we change him to the king of fizzy pop?
Posh Male:
It would never work. A soft drinks company have already made Bubbles the king of fizzy pop. They send him on world tours and make him moonwalk for coke.
Posh Female:
Ca cola?
Posh Male:
Um...yes. That. Sure.
Posh Female:
We could always donate him to the England training camp to scare up some betterperformances?
Posh Male:
I tried that too but the FA said they can't be dealing with Roy Hodgson trying to channel Michael to make his team talks more entertaining like he did when he was here.
Posh Female:
Maybe if we just modify him a bit and make it more modern and connected to the club?
Posh Male:
Put a Fulham shirt on him with Jacko on the back. A linesman flag in his hand instead of a mic and put a football at his feet? Everyone's happy.
Posh Female:
That could work. Chisel in Michael was thrilled to be paid to make an appearance at Craven Cottage.
Posh Male:
Nobody will believe that. Not even our current squad can be paid to utter thosewords.
Posh Female:
I do like the thought of him in a Fulham shirt. I think the fans will take a shine to him.
Posh Male:
That will make a change for the last S.H.I word the fans took on him.
Posh Female:
And if all else fails it will give the birds something to S.H.I on instead of Martin Jol's head.
Posh Male:
The more I picture the Fulham shirt permanently attached the more I'm warmingto the idea.
Posh Female:
I agree. Plus we won't have to pay a shipping fee and can use that moneyto pay for the Hulk Hogan statue to be installed quicker.
Posh Male:
At least a Hogan statue won't continually rip our kit like he kept doing at our private meetings measuring him for sculpting.
Posh Female:
Well I'm glad that's sorted.
Posh Male (shouting):
Re-erect him! Bring in the youth team...oh sorry I didn't mean it that way we just use them for errands sometimes.