Dear Detroit

Dear Detroit Mi,
How the Hell have you been? (There is no hell)
It's been a while! (Thank Heavens)
Me? How kind of you to ask...
I'm doing FAN TASTIC (other than living nearby)
Did you get your Drug troubles taken care of?
No... Well hey it's not gonna happen over night.
Hey at least the Lions won a game this year!
Lets focus on what's important right??? Ya...
I was thinking about leaving my house the other day...
Till I realized I HAVE NO JOB (economy is something ain't it)
Plus Its dangerous in the Ghetto here in the Utica
Anywho... At least I have an IPad (please don't jack me for it)
I've been thinking about driving down to visit (Nah)
No really though... Is it safe for "The Whites" yet?
You know me (not a fan of crackers)
but I love Detroit Music And Comedy! We should get together!
Maybe YOU can come visit UP HERE!!! YA!
Let me know when you stop harassing "people like me"
And I'll pencil you into my WIDE OPEN schedule (nah)
Maybe if you INVITED ME I'd come say a friendly hello.
NO GUNS NO MAFIA NO DRUGS NO SURVEILLANCE PLEASE
Welp... I'd better get some sleep its 5 A.M
I LOVE YOU DETROIT... (No really I DO!)... (Really!)... I mean it...
Seriously... No sarcasm... None... Honestly...
Get over here! (Hugs & Noogies)
JOBO

Visited Detroit last year. First stop on a family fly drive holiday. What a place... Motown was the nearest thing I have ever had to a religious experience - quite overwhelming emotionally. Slows touched our souls with its fantastic ribs and its even better brisket and seeing all the classic cars at the Henry Ford Museum was one of the highlights of the trip. But the contrast between this and the derelict and dying housing and business districts was startling to say the least. Parts of the city looked like a place hope goes to die.

I genuinely wish for the best for the city and its people and can only say we will be back to visit again one day.