FX: TYPICAL PARK SOUNDS
DEBORAH:
Bob, what are you doing down on one knee?
BOB:
Deborah, when I first met you, I thought 'phwoar, she's alright!' But then I got to know you, and I realised that not only are you alright, you're also top banana. Which is why I want you to do me the honour...
DEBORAH:
Oh my God!
BOB:
Of making me eligible for a tax break!
DEBORAH:
Come again?
BOB:
You see, if we formalise our relationship, we could save up to two hundred quid per annum.
DEBORAH:
Right.
BOB:
Now, that might not sound too whop dee doo, but think of it this way... if we stick it out for thirty years, we'll be up six grand!
DEBORAH:
And is that the ONLY reason you want to marry me?
BOB:
Of course not! There's a whole shed load of 'em.
DEBORAH:
Such as?
BOB:
Well, I want someone to cook me dinners, don't I? And wash me knickers!
DEBORAH:
Bob, do you... love me?
BOB:
Well, I'd certainly love it if you said 'yes'.
DEBORAH:
Just answer the question!
BOB:
Okay, put it this way... I don't hate you.
DEBORAH:
(SIGHS) Well, I suppose it is about time that I... settled down.
BOB:
I'll take that as an affirmative!
FX: HE GIVES HER A SLOPPY KISS
DEBORAH:
Ooh, do you know what I've always wanted to do?
BOB:
Adopt my surname?
DEBORAH:
Elope to Vegas!
BOB:
Are you mad? The plane tickets alone would wipe out our entire profit margin!
END