JUSTIN -A survey this week claimed that half of pilots have fallen asleep whilst flying - I bet it's the bottom half there's never any leg room. But what is sending our pilots to sleep Newsjack investigates
PILOT -
This is your pilot speaking we'll be taking off after my pre flight checks. Please feel free to look at your duty free purchases and slowly realise they're not as cheap as you first thought
F/X switching off the PA system
PILOT -
All of the overly complicated buttons seem to be in order. Now to make sure I don't fall asleep. Is it coffee in my cup or sleeping tablet laced warm milk, like last time. Coffee. I'll just put in my Power Ballads CD and remove Now That's That I Call Lullabies. Right, we should be fine now
F/X plane taking off. ED MILIBAND fanfare
PILOT-
Mr. Miliband what are you doing here?
AIDE -
He's going to see his brother. Aren't you? He's not too happy about it, but he did cheer up when I told him we'd tour the cock pit, but I think that was because of the word
ED -
It sounds like spit
AIDE -
Yes it does, Ed. I know what will cheer you up why don't you tell the pilot all about your new policies
ED -
Goody, Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin
PILOT -
Must. Stay. Awake
F/X plane going down
END