JUSTIN:
When you consider that the Sun was launched in 1964, it seems strange that Bruce Forsyth wasn't named as its first 'shagger of the year'.
After all, that was the year in which he bedded none other than Miss World.
Well, I'm delighted to say that we here at Newsjack have obtained an exclusive extract from Ann Sidney's forthcoming autobiography.
GRAMS: SEXY MUSIC
MISS WORLD:
I began to undress. And upon catching sight of my ample bosom, Brucie remarked...
BRUCE:
Nice to see you nude, nude to see you...
MISS WORLD:
My refusal to finish his catchphrase riled him. But not for long...
BRUCE:
Come on, give us a twirl!
MISS WORLD:
And by the time we'd finished foreplay, the mood had definitely... lifted!
BRUCE:
Ooh, didn't you do well?
MISS WORLD:
It was at this point that I vacated the driving seat.
BRUCE:
I'm in charge!
MISS WORLD:
Although he was short on finesse, he certainly wasn't lacking in energy.
FX: BED SQUEAKING FRANTICALLY
(CONT'D)
Indeed, he was probably TOO energetic!
FX: BED COLLAPSES
BRUCE:
Oh, isn't that a shame?
MISS WORLD:
And yet he somehow found the composure to reach the finish line.
BRUCE:
Zizza, zizza, zizza!
MISS WORLD:
Before parting with a few choice words.
BRUCE:
Good game, good game.
FX: DOOR SLAMMED SHUT
END