JUSTIN - Despite a review five months ago plastic surgeons say that patients are still being enticed into having cosmetic procedures by companies offering them perks and free gifts, I guess they really want that toy meerkat. But will shining a light on this procedure stop the moral-less ad execs?
V/O -
Monday
WOMAN 1 -
I can't believe the press are complaining about us. As if they don't do it, I mean who would buy the Daily Mail without the free DVD of one out of context episode of a seventies sitcom? But we're not going to let them win, we'll just get sneakier. I've already come up with my first campaign. We replace all mirrors with fun house mirrors so people think they're ugly. The idiots. I've got one here - oh I look very pretty. (Beat) Which means in a normal mirror I'd look ugly? Or side ways? I better phone the surgeon
V/O -
Tuesday
WOMAN 1 -
I woke up in hospital drugged off my face when I had my best idea yet, no wonder The Beatles were so successful. I had the idea whilst watching patients flash their pale pasty hairy bums. We'll infiltrate Top Shop, we'll employ all art graduates, and swap the size labels on all of their clothes so they're all too small and they rip at the seams. Leaving them only one option, well apart from exercise and maybe getting the next size up, but of those three options I bet they'll come to us for some liposuction (laughs) Actually my gown feels a bit tight
V/O -
Wednesday
WOMAN 1 -
I was just coming round from surgery when I heard the nurses making bitchy comments about me. After I hit them it hit me. Make sure every one has a passive aggressive friend to make them fell low enough to send them our way. Fortunately I don't have to worry about that I have very good friends. One just came to visit me and told me how good I look in my hospital gown, well I couldn't look any worse she said (Laughs) Oh. Doc, get me the sander
V/O -
Thursday
WOMAN 1 -
I checked out of hospital today after I had a moral breakthrough. Who am I to convince women that they're not good enough? How can I say that to my sisters? Not my actually sister, she is dog rough. We say we're making the world a prettier place but we're making it that much uglier and that's what I told my boss when I handed in my notice. It was the proudest I've ever been, until I realised none of that actually happened and it was an anesthetic dream from having my tits done
END