Quote: Badge @ October 4 2013, 4:02 PM BSTPretending: closure of posh sandwich shop
Uxbridge English Dictionary Page 8
Towel - Jumper given as a thank you gift.
Gorilla - Guidelines for cooking a female ape.
Botox - Cattle commonly found in sailing vessels.
Paper Cut - Standard hairdressing policy.
Leo Sayer:
A talking lion
Forest - Yorkshire term for a bracelet or watch.
Penguin - When it hurts Johnathon Ross to smile.
Satellite - Seated while burning.
Sorry, am I even playing this right?! 
Benefactor
A Reality talent show to find the star of a new Crossroads remake.
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 13th November 2013, 8:29 PM GMTBenefactor
A Reality talent show to find the star of a new Crossroads remake.
Illegitimate
He's a bastard, but still a good friend
Marzipan - cooking utensil used for heating chocolate.
Contraband - Nicoraguan musicians
Post-hoc rationalisation - turning ham into bacon
Cocaine
An extra walking stick
Ecstasy - the bottom letter on an eye-chart
Communicate - the Duchess of Cambridge's hippy nickname
Avoidant
What Dec tries to do every 28 days.
Catacombs
feline grooming
physiotherapy
sparkling wine
Pedantry - ingress used by people on foot
Quote: Tim Azure @ 3rd December 2013, 4:24 PM GMT
Catacombs is usually pronounced "catacooms"
It's a sight pun.
Fantasist - membranous sac filled with carbonated fruity liquid