British Comedy Guide

The God Squad Page 2

I don't mind them. There are worse people to have knocking on your door than a couple of middle-aged women in Per Una. Mormons tend to be slightly pushier, but they're quite sweet. One even shouted after me "You don't care about your eternal soul!" when I declined to stop and talk to him.

I was offered a sit-down Blessing the other day by some guys with a stall in my local park. I declined.

Quote: George Kaplan @ September 27 2013, 12:31 PM BST

I was offered a sit-down Blessing

I'd have accepted just to find out what one actually is.

Quote: chipolata @ September 27 2013, 12:38 PM BST

I'd have accepted just to find out what one actually is.

It's like an ordinary blessing, but conducted by Tim Booth from James.

Quote: chipolata @ September 27 2013, 12:38 PM BST

I'd have accepted just to find out what one actually is.

Er, they had a chair there that you sat on to receive your blessing.

God knows why?

Maybe they were worried you'd collapse from the impact, and they didn't want to be sued if you injured yourself falling onto the asphalt path?

I'm not a rude person, so why take advantage of that by doing something that really makes me want to slam the door in your faces.

Quote: AndyGilder @ September 27 2013, 12:56 PM BST

It's like an ordinary blessing, but conducted by Tim Booth from James.

He'd make a good minister. There's a fervour about him.

Quote: AndyGilder @ September 27 2013, 12:56 PM BST

It's like an ordinary blessing, but conducted by Tim Booth from James.

Booyah!

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ September 27 2013, 10:48 AM BST

I can understand that Muslims are indoctrinated from birth

It's a rum do.

Quote: zooo @ September 27 2013, 10:59 AM BST

The ones (of various religions) who stand on street corners and shout about Jesus are bloody annoying. I'm trying to shop! Stop shouting at me! They're as bad as those charity clipboard carrying bastards.

And it's just self serving, not one person has ever converted through being shouted at in the street. They're doing it for their own egos, nothing else. So annoying.

Fools

They clearly don't read the Bible

I pray everyday and the only people who hear are me and God

5 "Whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, because they love to pray while standing in synagogues and on street corners so that people can see them. Truly I say to you, they have their reward.
6 But whenever you pray, go into your room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father, who sees in secret, will reward you.

Quote: zooo @ September 27 2013, 11:04 AM BST

Don't you try and get biblical with me. I will smite you right up.

Laughing out loud

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ September 27 2013, 10:48 AM BST

I can understand that Muslims are indoctrinated from birth

Quote: Kenneth @ September 27 2013, 10:22 PM BST

It's a rum do.

I don't think they're allowed rum, are they?

Quote: zooo @ September 27 2013, 11:04 AM BST

Don't you try and get biblical with me. I will smite you right up.

Have you smote him yet?

Quote: Oldrocker @ September 28 2013, 12:08 AM BST

Have you smote him yet?

Smote salmon is nice in a bagel.

For some reason Shepherd's Bush station attracts all of the shouty religious people. It's like running a gauntlet trying to avoid the Muslims, the Jehovah's Witnesses, the Chinese Church (who sing awful Jesus songs through a horrible PA), and the Scientologists. Then throw in half a dozen charity fundraisers, and now food stalls and it's enough to send the most mild-mannered person over the edge.

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