Ok, I can spot a whole host of things wrong with this one before you even get to the punch, but I'd like to see what things you guys pick out because I don't really write topical comedy and want to improve:
Ed Miliband becomes popular
JUSTINThere were rumours at this week's Labour Party Conference that the party was coming to terms with the fact that the basis of their unpopularity is their leader looking like a confused puppet.
FX: Phone rings.
DAVID MILIBANDDavid Miliband.
ED BALLSIt's Ed...
DAVIDBalls...
EDYes.
We need help with your brother. This unpopularity thing is really getting to him. He's been eating like a horse.
DAVIDWell everyone comfort eats.
EDLike a horse, David! Naked and ankle-deep in his own dung!
DAVIDWell, that is alarming. But political leaders are known to get wrapped up in their own shit. He just needs a change of image.
EDBut it's impossible. I told him to wear shades once but he was so awkward people just thought he was blind.
DAVIDThen there's only one thing for it.
FX: Crowd murmuring
ED MILIBANDAre you sure about this?
ED BALLSGo on!
FX: Crowd politely claps
ED MILIBANDFree! Bar!
FX: Crowd whoops
CROWDEd! Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed!