JUSTIN:
If I told you there's nothing more to the internet than pornography and trolling... you'd probably agree with me, before remarking how handsome I look.
But, just as I won't always remain this sexalicious, neither will the internet continue to be so utterly without merit.
Indeed, it's been predicted that within a decade we'll be using it to take most of our exams.
STUDENT:
Err miss; I've got a bit of a problem...
EXAMINER:
Oh, you haven't wet yourself again, have you?
STUDENT:
No, no, it's about my exam. You see... it's crashed!
EXAMINER:
Now, when you say 'crashed'...
STUDENT:
I mean the screen's gone as blue as the pope's balls.
EXAMINER:
Right. Well, have you tried turning it off and on again?
STUDENT:
No, but wouldn't that erase my answers?
EXAMINER:
Err... yes, I should imagine it would.
STUDENT:
What, so you expect me to start from scratch with only... five minutes remaining?
EXAMINER:
Well, it's your choice, isn't it?
STUDENT:
You mean there's an alternative?
EXAMINER:
Of course... you can just sit it again next summer, can't you?
STUDENT:
NEXT summer?
EXAMINER:
Oh come on, it's only twelve months away.
STUDENT:
But I'm supposed to be starting uni in September!
EXAMINER:
Think of it as taking a gap year... only instead of travelling the world... you'll be coming to school as usual.
STUDENT:
And if the same thing happens AGAIN during the resit?
EXAMINER:
Well, then you could still go to uni ... but as a MATURE student!
END