British Comedy Guide

NJ Pope Advert

JUSTIN - We all know what it's like starting a new job, you don't want to rock the boat so you turn up on time, never complain, and pretend you don't mind being sexually harassed by the other cast members. But eventually you feel comfortable enough to shake things up and after six months in the job that's exactly what Pope Francis is doing in an attempt to make the church more accessible

ATMOS a church

MAN 1 -Father, I've come to tell you I'm in love with a man

PRIEST -
Bog-of

MAN 1 -
You mean I'm no longer welcome in church because I have a boyfriend?

PRIEST -
No, I mean you and your boyfriend can both go to heaven with our Buy One Get One Free offer

ATMOS: Sale advert

POPE -
Hi, I'm Pope Francis and thanks to mismanagement we have too many places in heaven so we're passing the savings on to you. That's right from now on we're not twenty percent less judge-y. Nor thirty per cent. What's that, forty? No way. We're fifty percent less judge-y

MAN 2 - But Pope Francis what about me, I'm divorcing my wife?

POPE -
So what, we won't let them be the head of our church why should you let them be the head of your household?

WOMAN 1 -.
I'm having pre marital sex
POPE -
Aren't we all? I'm joking. I didn't mean that. Can I just nip that in the bud right now!?
So what are you waiting for? The power of Christ compels you - to have fun

END

Share this page