Hi,
Did you hear about the joke writer called Bernard Morris who published a kindle book on Amazon entitled 100 Original Jokes and then put a few of the jokes on the British Comedy Guide forum to try and sell a few books?
I was admiring a chameleon in a pet shop. It was lovely. It changed from green to yellow to brown to orange to pink to red to purple to blue. I didn't know it was having a heart attack.
I went to a French restaurant. I ate ten plates of snails. I went home and felt sick. It took me four hours to reach the bathroom.
I invented a new dance that didn't quite catch on. Dotted Line Dancing.
I borrowed a book from the library on Time Travel. I returned it in 1437.
I went to the library and I put a paper frog on the desk, followed by a paper bird, a paper duck, a paper house, a paper dog and a paper aeroplane. The librarian said, "What's all this?" I said, "I'm returning that book I borrowed on Origami."
I returned a book to the library - How Clean Is Your House? The librarian said, "Look at the dust on this!"
I've started growing my own vegetables. At the moment I have two varieties of peas - front garden and back garden.
Bernard Morris