JUSTIN:
For the first time in a long time, the BBC has found itself at the centre of a scandal this week.
Why? Because of Newsnight's new editor, Twitter, and a Labour MP who objected to the label 'boring snoring'.
Well, I'm delighted to say that the MP in question has joined me in the studio. Rachel Reeves, good evening.
RACHEL:
Good evening Justin.
JUSTIN:
Now, before we begin, can I apologise again for that unfortunate use of the 'b' word?
RACHEL:
What, you mean someone's been calling me a bitch?
JUSTIN:
No, no, I mean 'b' as in... (QUITELY) boring!
RACHEL:
I'm not boring!
JUSTIN:
Yes, believe me I know...
RACHEL:
And I can prove it too!
JUSTIN:
You can?
RACHEL:
Well, take tonight for instance... tonight I'm going to be... twerking the night away!
JUSTIN:
You... twerk?
RACHEL:
Look, twerking's an interesting phenomenon, and I'm an interesting person... so why shouldn't our paths collide?
JUSTIN:
Well, it's just that it's hard to imagine you performing such a sexually provocative dance.
RACHEL:
Oh God, is that what it means... I mean, no, I mean... you obviously don't know me at all!
JUSTIN:
Obviously not. So, do you have any other 'interesting' hobbies?
RACHEL:
Well, I do like to recite times tables backwards... but only whilst twerking in the nude, of course!
JUSTIN:
Naturally.
RACHEL:
And I enjoy reading... but only Heat magazine and Fifty Shades! And... are you tweeting?
JUSTIN:
Err, no, I'm just... looking at porn.
RACHEL:
Give me that! (READS) 'Not only is she boring snoring, she's also a liar with her pants on fire!'
JUSTIN:
Oh no, my account's been hacked!
RACHEL:
Err, I literally just saw you type this!
JUSTIN:
Okay, look, let's nip this in the bud! Yes, I used the 'l' word in a rather unfortunate manner, and for that I apologise.
RACHEL:
What, you mean you've been calling me a lesbian?
JUSTIN:
(GROANS)
END