JUSTIN
There was controversy last week after the editor of Newsnight Ian Katz tweeted that Rachel Reeves MP was, quote, "snoring boring" and no better than the "snoooooooze-paper", pronunciation his. The reaction from-
IAN KATZ
Why hellooooo!
JUSTIN
Oh, Ian Katz, you're here. I didn't realise we were interviewing you today.
IAN KATZ
Summons me it did!
JUSTIN
You mean we 'booked' you?
IAN KATZ
Mmmmmmmm.
JUSTIN
Well... as I was saying, you described Ms. Reeves as "boring snoring"-
IAN KATZ
Rachel Reeves is boring snoring / free of vim and wit is she / humdrum words left Katz deploring / 'til from her grasp we were set free!
JUSTIN
...Right. The reaction in the newspapers-
IAN KATZ
The snooooooze-papers?
JUSTIN
Can I just ask, how did you get this job?
IAN KATZ
Job? Job it says?
JUSTIN
Yes, your job as editor of Newsnight?
IAN KATZ
Ed-eeh-tor?
JUSTIN
Yes! The person who makes the bloody programme!
IAN KATZ
Ah, Wizard! Yes! Wizard of Newsnight, that is me / summoned by the old oak tree-
JUSTIN
Summoned? How do you get summoned?
IAN KATZ
Burn Guardian at midnight and snap neck of wren.
JUSTIN
And what was your job before this?
IAN KATZ
Goblin King.
JUSTIN
Right, that surprisingly makes a lot of sense. Why did you lose that job?
IAN KATZ
Too annoying for goblins!
JUSTIN
Well before we go, do you have anything you'd like to say to Ms. Reeves? An apology perhaps?
IAN KATZ
Many sorrows I have woven -
JUSTIN
Not in rhyme! Just imagine how Paxman would do it.
IAN KATZ
Would not apologise.
JUSTIN
No, fair point. Just apologise normally.
IAN KATZ
Boring jibe was cruelly chosen -
JUSTIN
No.
IAN KATZ
Truly was I -
JUSTIN
No.
IAN KATZ
I am... very... sorry-worry -
JUSTIN
Just apologise!
IAN KATZ
Well she is bloody boring!
JUSTIN
Ian Katz, thank you very much.
END.
