British Comedy Guide

NJ Scooby

JUSTIN - A woman claiming to represent Uzbekistan in the Miss World pageant has been branded an imposter after officials in her home country say they never held a Miss Uzbekistan contest. Surely they should have been suspicious when her special talent was subterfuge, but not to worry they've put they're best man on the job

F/.X creaking of a door slowing opening

WOMAN 1 -
Hello. Is anyone there? Please let me go I've been stuck in this room for days

MAN 1 -
And you'll be here until you tell us the truth, Miss Uzbekistan - if that is your real name

WOMAN 1 -
Of course it's not!

MAN 1 -
So you admit it! Now I've broken you a little I can bring in our best man who will crack this case wide open. He has a hundred per cent success rate. Say hello to your worst nightmare

SCOOBY is Scooby doo with his distinctive voice

SCOOBY -
Hello

WOMAN 1 -
Not Scooby Doo! Any one but Scooby Doo! Why's he staring at my leg?

MAN 1 -
He's a man isn't he? Well he used to be before that fateful trip to the vets.

SCOOBY-
Oh oh

MAN 1 -
Oh oh indeed. I'll leave you to it

SCOOBY -
Now let's see who's under the mask

F/X SCOOBY struggling to remove her mask and WOMAN 1 in pain

WOMAN 1 -
It's my real face

SCOOBY -
That's never happened before. Erm. I'll tell them you check out

F/X SCOOBY exits

WOMAN 1 -
That's right Scooby you go be a good boy and let me win Miss World in an overly complicated evil plan that probably involves dwarves or something (Laughs)

SCOOBY -
Got you!

WOMAN 1 -
You pesky kids!

END

I think this is nice, "Say hello to your worst nightmare" made me laugh, some nice lines. Not sure how easy it would be to convey these lines in a recognisable Scooby Doo voice, perhaps the Uzbekistan official could have turned out to be Shaggy to deliver more of the information? Might be nice to have an intimidating government official taking instructions from a dog.

Share this page