Int. the Managers office of Brayswood Swimming Pool – Mid afternoon
Max Clancy is sat at his desk writing a letter and humming to the tune of ‘How much is that doggy in the window’. There is a knock at the door and in walks 19 year old Johnny – he is a lifeguard with a strong Cornish accent. Johnny sits down at Max’s desk.
Johnny: Uh, Mr Clancy?
Max looks up and smiles
Max: (Friendly) Ah, Johnny. So how are you finding your first week here?
Johnny: Its fine but, uh, well, its happened again.
Max looks disappointed.
Max: (Pained) Oh, no! Not again! Surely not?
Johnny: Well y’know what its like.
Max: I know that you’re still learning the ropes of this place, but for gods sake Johnny! That’s the third corpse this week!
Johnny: (Slightly disappointed) I know, I know! But I was positive this time that there was a, y’know, one of them.
Max puts his head in his hands in despair and then walks round to the front of the desk where he sits.
Max: How many times do I have to tell you? There is absolutely NO way that a spaniel could get into the pool area.
Johnny: Look, that seemed to finally sink in after the second time you told me, but then I got thinking last night. What if a spaniel got in via the roof.
Max: That can’t happen.
Johnny: Well that’s what I thought, but earlier on, I was sure I could hear a sniffing noise up in the heating ducts. I had to go and make sure.
Max: I see. And, so, you left the pool unattended? I don’t think I have to tell you how silly that was.
Johnny: (Angry and on the defence) Oh yeah?! Well what if a spaniel HAD sneaked in through the roof?
Max: Johnny, for Christ’s sake! Someones died and….
Johnny: (Interrupting) A spaniel? Running around a swimming pool? Nipping at ankles?! What d’yer think health and safety would say to that?!
Max: Well what do you think they’re going to say to our latest corpse?
Johnny: Oh I don’t know! Probably something like “What happened to you then, mate? A spaniel drag you down?!”.
Max gets up off his desk and gets face to face with Johnny.
Max: (Angrily) You listen to me. There is no way that a spaniel can get in this building!
Suddenly, a scratching sounds start up. It is coming from a cupboard in the corner of the office. Johnny looks suspiciously at the cupboard and then back at Max.
Johnny: (Cockily) Oh yeah? So what’s that then?
Max walks over to the cupboard and stands in front of it.
Max: I think you better go now.
Johnny: (demanding) What is it?
Max: It’s probably just a mouse. LEAVE IT!
A bark emanates from the cupboard.
Johnny: (Irritated) Bloody mouse?! Let me have a look.
Johnny strides over to the protesting Max and pushes him out of the way. He opens the cupboard and in the bottom of it is a spaniel. The spaniel licks its nose and looks at Johnny.
Johnny: So, then. How do you explain this?
Max rushes at Johnny and knocks him into the cupboard. He quickly locks the door. Johnny starts screaming and the spaniel starts barking. Max sits down at his desk and pulls a packet of dog biscuits from a drawer. He starts eating them.
Max: (Mournfully) I told him to leave it. I told him to leave it.
A single tear rolls down Max’s cheek as the barking/screaming continues.