Genesis

Written for radio (Probably doesn't fit the remit of 2525). Started as sketch in BCG sketch competition. It was festering so you guys can throw a few stones at it.

Genesis

Robot: It is the year 3013. Mankind has been wiped out by a mysterious virus. However there is a lone survivor. Kevin. Kevin Briggs. And he's Australian. Who'd a thunk it.

God: Hello Kevin, this is God!

Kevin: G'day God hows it hanging?

God: Errrgh good, it's hanging good thanks Kevin. Now listen...

Kevin: You 'ain't as tall as thought you'd be.

God; Ah no. I follow my mother's side. She was Welsh. Now listen Kevin..

Kev: And no beard.

God: You know you shouldn't really take too much notice of Rubens paintings.

Kevin: Pity, I particularly liked his Equestrian Portrait of the Duke Of Lerma which I believe is to be found in the Museo del Prado In Madrid.

God: Yes, well, that's nice but we have to decide what we're going to do with you.

Kevin: I thought I might just chillax for a bit on the beach, catch a few rays, invite me friends round for a few bevvies.

God: You have no friends.

Kevin: That's a bit harsh!

God: No Kevin they were wiped out by that errrgh mysterious virus remember?

Kevin: To be honest mate I've been in a bit of drunken haze for the last five years. Still just a thought your omnipotence, why didn't you save the Earth from this mysterious virus?

God: Ah well I was busy.

Kevin: Busy?

God: To be honest I sort of started the virus to scare people for a bit. You know get them praying and calling out my name for deliverance and such and...

Kevin: Bit of an ego trip mate!

God: Anyhow the milk boiled over on the stove. By the time I came back whoosh, there was just you.

Kevin: See mate, multi-tasking. Leave it to the Sheila's.

God: Yes, well I feel a bit guilty so we're going to go for a new beginning. So here's your beach.

Sfx: Lapping waves and seagulls

Kevin: Good start mate

God: Here's your Barbie fully loaded

Sfx: BBQ

Kevin: Pretty darn good

God: And last but not least this is Eve but actually you can call her what you like.

Kevin: Ripper!

God: Right so this is your chance to repopulate the world. I've also given you some of my powers so that anything you want will appear instantly.

Kevin: Bloody good!

God: But no alcohol

Kevin: What!

God: I'm not having that nonsense again. Any alcohol and the deals off. No paradise, no Barbie, no gorgeous girl ok?

Kevin:Fine.

God: Right I'm off to clean my cooker and you can get on with what you humans do best.

Sfx: Car starts and drives off

Eve: Hi!

Kevin: Hi

Eve: I am here to serve you. You can do whatever you want with me.

Kevin: Really?

Eve: Really.

Kevin: Really really?

Eve: Really really.

[beat]

Sfx: Ring pull can opening

Kevin: Fancy a beer?

Good idea but like almost everything posted here it could do with trimming, I felt it drifted a little. Personally I would loose the painting gag I think it is not strong and is such a character jump for Kevin that it pulls you out of the sketch.

I would have God waking Kevin up at the beginning.

GOD - Kevin, wake up Kevin...

KEVIN - Hello God mate...ouch me bloody ribs hurt.

Also why not have God offer Kevin Eden and have Kevin ask 'Where's the beach God mate?'

And finally When God introduces the Girl and Kevin says 'Ripper' I though God was going to think it her name and say 'Kevin and Ripper...perfect, just perfect'

All points made in good faith and ignorance so please feel free to ignore!

Regards

playfull

Agree mostly. The 'Ripper' gag could be

God: Ripper? What sort of name is that? Her names Eve ok? Eve.

Also painting gag (which I quite liked) is an out of sketch experience unfortunately.

Could there maybe be a bit of context at the start?Like "Kevin thinks he can talk to God." The God conversation seems to come out of nowhere which is probably the intention,I suppose.Or " God has returned to find out what's happened to all his smart monkeys.Only one left is Kevin." Or such-like.Good luck.

I don't get the punch...it doesn't tie in with the 'no alcohol' bit earlier or is it that he happy to let the girl disappear??

I like this, don't see why it couldn't be 2525.
I did have a similar idea that a virus had wiped out everyone on earth apart from Keith Richards. Think the conversation with God is a great idea. Agree with the comments above that it could be made shorter and punchier and the painting gag doesn't fit. Also, I think you could make Kevin's dialogue more Aussie than it currently is.

Quote: Shandonbelle @ September 10 2013, 11:58 AM BST

I don't get the punch...it doesn't tie in with the 'no alcohol' bit earlier or is it that he happy to let the girl disappear??

View original

The idea is that being a bloke and especially an Aussy he just can't help himself despite the fact he knows the consequences. Think Pavlov's dogs

I got that but maybe the wording could have shown it more, instead of offering her the beer he could say something like 'I don't know about you Sheila, but I fancy a beer' and then she disappears....sorry crap example but along those lines.

It's a great idea, but criminy is it padded. And the bit about the painting is just smart arsery.

You've got kinda 3 beats; God meets the last man in the world, he's Australian and being Australian prefers beer to sex with women.

That's a neat page, page and a half. This is more like 3 pages and rambles past what could it otherwise be some fairly neat points.

(also is there a joke about eternity being like wathcing Aussies lose at cricket to the poms?)

nb that final punchline about the beer is way to over telegraphed as well.

There's quite a bit of exposition in the first half, so I think you should have a look at sorting that. That aside, I think the last human alive idea and restarting God's vision is a strong idea. It kind of feels a bit like a Fosters advert and I mean that as a compliment.

Good point Ben, good point, so much so why not write it up send it to them?

Quote: sootyj @ September 10 2013, 1:21 PM BST

Good point Ben, good point, so much so why not write it up send it to them?

View original

Good point Sooty - about Ben's good point.

Thanks all for reading. Some excellent pointers.