Episode 1 introduction http://youtu.be/Dvnj8QH-PiQ
Episode 2 Slimfast diet http://youtu.be/n1iGqnHlZfo
Episode 3 Buddhism http://youtu.be/AdNUGM_ZkDM
would love to hear your thoughts x
Comedy webseries episodes 1, 2 and 3
The acting is amazing and the idea is a good one. But the script is a little too loose and it loses pace, and the videos are too long for a YouTube Audience. I would advise keeping it to 3 mins or less for YouTube because that's all people expect to watch on there.
I think its really naturally delivered and has a lot of potential, but I think you should write to give the impression of natural, rambling dialogue while trying to avoid actually having rambling dialogue...I don't know if that makes sense....maybe seeing if you can cut each episode idea to three minutes will help you edit and keep it tight?
Unless you're improvising?
EDIT: Then I watched the second episode and it was a lot tighter...just need a bit more structure, though, I thought, because you kind of feel like nothing has happened at the end. Excellent characters, though. Completely brilliant.
Great great comment thanku so much for that. I am improvising reasons being I could develop her character and not b so scripted if that makes sense. I agree that it is long but I couldn't cut them down anymore. Will take this comment on board defo. Thanku for watching
I think you just need to write some gags to hasng the improv from, eg in place of earth for the Buddhist ceremony, she could have Uncle Jack's ashes tipped out of an urn.
Alright, that's not very good, but I mean just a few way stations to help on the irmpov journey - the acting is fantastic, and the characters are funny, but it just needs more focus.