2525 yet another sootyj effort

Not sure its upto much, but well what is? v2

Feedback welcome from all.

SIMPLE ROCKETS

INTRO
Man kinds journey to the future has been a literal journey; across, the land, the seas, the skys and now to the stars themselves.
Sadly reaching the final frontier can still be a pain in the rear.

FX AIRPORT SOUNDS
TANNOY
The bussard ram jet to Barnards Star is now boarding.
BOB
Right if you'll let us on we'll be on our way.
TERRY
Oi oi mate, hold up you need to pass through security first/.
JEN
But what can the delay possibly be, we've got no luggage, we're stark naked and we've had our passports hollow tattooed on our tummys.
TERRY
Yes very nice, but I still need to check some details now is that your son there.
JEN
Yes what of it, he's got a childs passport.
TERRY
Yeh but was he conceived via the old fashioned way? You know when the fella...
JEN
He was most definitely not!
TERRY
No Jen thinks that's all a bit 21st century, he's a clone.
BOB
You grew him a test tube dincha, grow being the appropriate word. I'm afraid he counts as fruit not family.
JEN
Can't we just sit him in a bowel with some water.
BOB
Thats a 5 eurodollar supplement. Now when did you last go to the loo?
TERRY
This morning what of it?
BOB
You colons are packed full of toxic waste you're planning to go dump off world.
TERRY
We were going to use the zero-g toilet on the rocket.
BOB
That's a 25 euro dollar supplement and you'll need to get a receipt after you've been
JEN
Why, why are you making us suffer like this?
TERRY
We're not bad people.
BOB
Because you're flying economy with Ryan Rockets.

Quote: sootyj @ August 20 2013, 9:46 PM BST

JEN
But what can the delay possibly be, we've got no luggage, we're stark naked and we've had our passports hollow tattooed on our tummys.

BOB
You grew him a test tube dincha, grow being the appropriate word. I'm afraid he counts as fruit not family.

View original

These two lines made me laugh out loud, and lovely finish.

Thanks Shandy I thought the final line, needed a bionic badumtish.

Loved the "fruit not family" line. Works both as an idea and as a lovely precise phrase.

Did not think the war on terror idea worked in its present form.

You must be able to work in a pop at Ryanair - what about tannoying "The Cryon air Bussard ram Jet...

or something better.

Good luck with it.

Thanks I didn't even think of ryan air! The war on terror was a late substitution so I can see how it doesn't work

That was a little hard to follow, due to some erratic spelling and absent punctuation, and did Bob and Terry switch roles halfway through? I appreciate the Likely Lads tribute, but the sketch might have been clearer to read if Bob (or possibly Terry} had been defined by job title - I assume he is Security?

The sketch starts well, and "But what can the delay possibly be, we've got no luggage, we're stark naked and we've had our passports hollow [sic - holo] tattooed on our tummys [sic- tummies]" is a terrific line, and beautifully executed.

The sarcasm stuff didn't work for me though, and the build up to the punch gets a bit messy with too many ideas floating about.

Thanks and damn you erratic spelling

Yeah, pretty much what Tursiops said. "Fruit not family" is brilliant, but the snide remarks were a bit clumsy for me. The ending works.

thanks I may just dump the war on terror bit

This is nowhere near as tight as your other 2525 sketches, although I do like the idea of a test tube baby being fruit not family. Maybe he gets offered a bowl rather than a seat?

I'd drop everything between "fruit not family" and "is there anything we can do..." The Ryanair restrictions angle is probably more promising than zero g toilets.

fair comment this one was written in a hurry and really needs an edit.