British Comedy Guide

New Animated Show - Looking for any thoughts Page 2

Quote: playfull @ August 20 2013, 12:54 PM BST

But then wtf do I know?

I already got my defence in!

I fully expected the reaction to it to be mixed. I have spoke to some people who got it, and others that really slated it, even more so than some of the comments on this board. Either way I can appreciate most of what has been said. There are things that I have wanted to say back to some of the comments, but I have learned enough to know that you can't justify every little thing that somebody picks up on, and that any video needs to be able to stand alone.

My sense of humour is admittedly divisive, and I know that you can't possibly entertain everyone. If there's one thing I always seem to hear, it's writers saying that they write stuff that makes them and their mates laugh, and if its good enough it will find an audience. Maybe the audience isn't on this board, maybe there isn't one at all, but I will keep going with it. The aim of this video was to establish the relationship, or lack of, between the characters and how they talk down to each other.

While I get some people won't enjoy the language (at one point I considered having censored swearing, similar to early SP) the dynamic between the characters is meant to draw inspiration from the likes of Mayall/Edmonson, in that they are horrible to each other (particularly Alex and Jay) and ultimately becomes a game of going out of their ways to get one over the others.

Anyway, I aim to have part 2 out either tonight or tomorrow. Anybody that didn't like part 1 probably won't like that either. But I'm confident that it will evolve over time into something more polished. I think most shows turn out to be slightly different to their pilots, so I will continue to listen to any feedback and treat this like the experiment that it is.

If only everyone in critique was like you Lovey

It's just that putting up the animated version rather than the script, is a lot like going for a pint of milk via the moon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtGlxtSzgY4]

Part 2 is there for anybody that is interested.

Like I said in an earlier post, if you didn't like the first video then you probably won't find the next part any funnier.

One piece of feedback that I keep seeing talks about how static the characters look. Towards the back end of this video the characters develop a bit more head bobbing when they are talking, which on reflection I think does bring them to life a little bit more.

One question that I would ask people's opinion on isn't really about my videos or humour, but just how people feel about swearing in general. As I mentioned in an earlier post, at one point I was seriously considering having censoring over the bad language, but so that you could still hear the first and last letters so you knew what the word was. To anybody who has seen the Mike Bassett movie, I think the funniest scene in that film is the half time team talk because every other word is a beep.

Unfortunately it seems to have backfired because people have viewed the language unfavourably, to the point where I'm just considering making the next episode with no bad language or offensive jokes at all.

Just wondering what everyone else thinks.

Swearing is ok if it is funny. Otherwise it is just swearing. If it works for your characters then use it. Of course this depends on what you see as your target audience?

If you are seriously split on its use - make an episode without and see if it works? That might make you focus on the jokes, which might be a good exercise anyway.

Just my two bobs worth...

There is nothing wrong with using bad language - as Playfull says. But it has to be funny and you must have your target audience in mind.

My issue was with neither the swearing nor the humour - it was the fact that the story and characters were not engaging enough to keep my attention. I haven't watched the second bit yet though!

For me, I found the Down's Syndrome line to be worse than the swearing. I think humour should be directed at people more, not less powerful than you. But each to their own.

Have now watched the second bit - but there still isn't a story there for me. Three boys are watching a football match. The telly breaks. So they go to another house to see if they can watch it there.

There is nothing unusual, or interesting, or comic about this. I know I sound like a broken record on here, but STORY IS EVERYTHING.

That is your issue. Nothing to do with the swearing or whether other people get your humour or not. Story story story. Good luck with it. :)

I got 2 minutes into episode 2 andthat's too much, I will never get those 2 minutes back. I might have saved a cat from being run over or found love or just picked my nose in that 2 minutes.

It was terrible. Unfunny, static and pointless 3 people having an entirely bland discussion with football.

Oh yes and they swore, with the regularity and charm of a broken car alarm in a hearse carrying a beloved pensioner to the council crematorium.

If you're entertaining your self making these animations, great.

But they really aint great.

Sooty my darling. You do have such a..unique..way of putting things.

Can't disagree with you though.

I finally found the Downes Syndrome joke, it's a toss up which was more pointlessly offensive. That or the one about slapping women in episode 2.

And I am the master of ironic overstatement. The lord, God Emperor, Moadib of the Fremen of it even.

Quote: sootyj @ August 21 2013, 9:23 PM BST

That or the one about slapping women in episode 2.
.

Just found that. "sorry babe, you made me do this" and then he smacks the TV. You are better than this, Simon.

Quote: sootyj @ August 21 2013, 9:08 PM BST

I got 2 minutes into episode 2 andthat's too much, I will never get those 2 minutes back. I might have saved a cat from being run over or found love or just picked my nose in that 2 minutes.

It was terrible. Unfunny, static and pointless 3 people having an entirely bland discussion with football.

Oh well, I guess my stuff will never be accepted on this board of professional comedians. See you around.

Oh don't reject the burger because it's got one asshole in it.

Others might like it, I didn't.

I think everything that has been said, however bluntly, is in the spirit of helping you make it better, Simon. I hope it is useful to you.

Quote: sootyj @ August 21 2013, 10:42 PM BST

Oh don't reject the burger because it's got one asshole in it.

When did burgers get assholes? :S

Also a winner isn't the guy who stays on his feet, he's the guy who gets back up when knocked down.

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