Human Zoo (Attempt 2)

Here is a re write of the Human Zoo idea. I have ditched the intro. Also, Jennie, I nicked your queueing idea. Hope you don't mind.javascript:add_emoticon('')
Apologies for any Spelling/ grammar formatting errors. Did this in a bit of a hurry before I head out.
Any feedback gratefully received....

Daddy Robot - And Here we are at the Homo Sapian enclosure. Or, " Humanoids" as they are more commonly known. Of all the creatures from the old animal kingdom, these are our closest relatives.

Little Girl Robot - They don't look much like us... they look all.. soft and squidgy and hairy, especially that one..ooh and that one, are you sure they are our Relatives ?

Daddy Robot - Well, It was a sub-species of the humanoids, called the Geekazoids, that created our distant ancestors.

Little Girl Robot - Geekazoids ?.... Are there any in here ?
Daddy Robot - Er... Now, let me see.... oh yes. Over there, in the corner, the one with the funny red hair..

Little Girl Robot - the one with those things on his eyes ?

Daddy Robot - Yes, they call them spectacles..

Little Girl Robot - The one that the other, bigger, humanoid is hitting... ?

Daddy Robot - Yes

Little Girl Robot ...And is now holding upside down while all the other Humanoidz point and make loud noises at.

Daddy Robot - Yes, Yes...that's the one.

Little Girl Robot - Aw...he's cute.

Little Girl Robot - Daddy, what are those ones doing all in a line ?

Daddy Robot - Ah... now, this is an interesting one. I believe, they call that queing . It seems to be some sort of strange ritual they go through before attaining something they desire, whether it is for food, to make a brown mess....or just to do something to entertain themselves......in this case it appears to be, to hit the geekazoid until his spectacles fall off.

Little Girl Robot - Oh look Daddy, there are two of that one.

Daddy Robot - Oh Darling, you are funny. There is only one of them... it's just that one is looking at themselves in a mirror. A mirror is a device that produces an almost identical image of anything that is in front of it. The Humanoids like to use them a lot, especially when they are changing their appearance.

Little Girl Robot - So, is that one a male or a female ?

Daddy Robot - Well, lets look. It has put some clothes on...now is taking them off again..

Little Girl Robot - Now they are putting different clothes on ..
Daddy Robot - Yes and now taking them off again..... and now putting some more different clothes on.

Little Girl Robot - Aren't they the clothes that it had on the first time ?
Daddy Robot - Oh yes, your right..... I think that is the female of the species then.

Little Girl Robot - Why do the humanoids wear clothes ?

Daddy Robot - To cover up their grotesque bodies.

Little Girl Robot - Daddy... that one's not wearing any clothes.

Daddy Robot , Ugh, no they don't appear to be.

Little Girl Robot - What's that thing dangling between their legs.

Daddy Robot , Err, I'm not sure...I think it's time to leave,lets go and see the crocodiles.

Little Girl Robot- It's leaking Daddy, It's leaking ... we need to help him.

Daddy Robot - No we don't.....To the Crocodiles !!!

Thats really good on the way to brilliant, good ideas and characters and some very funny lines.

But.

1 You need an intro because they ask for one, just a couple of witty lines is all you need.
2 The weeing line feels like it comes from another sketch, this one the joke is how primitive our modern behaviour is. So its jarring that one of them is weeing.
Think of some disgusting modern human behaviour, I dunno masturbating to net porn? But of course implied rather than described.

But over all this one reads like it could be on the radio.

Thanks for the kind comments and advice.

You are totally right about the ending needing to reflect more modern behaviour.. I was being a bit lazy there, I was struggling to think of an out, so just left it the same as the first draft... Like your idea about the porn, needs to be done quite subtly though.

"Mummy what's that sweaty man doing with his laptop?"
"Crocodiles!"

Much better. I agree with Sooty, though, ditch the wee: not because it's rude, but because it doesn't fit the rest of it.