Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ August 15 2013, 5:29 PM BSTSorry, I didnt mean to insult the james bond CSA thing, its just the jokes were very good, I'm still reading them!
Not a problem. And secondly, I apologise to regular skit comp posters for ruining this thread.
Quote: Nick81 @ August 15 2013, 5:32 PM BSTNot a problem. And secondly, I apologise to regular skit comp posters for running this thread.
Hey now, don't get ahead of yourself!
Quote: Nick81 @ August 15 2013, 5:32 PM BSTNot a problem. And secondly, I apologise to regular skit comp posters for ruining this thread.
I thought it was a controversy sketch you guys were performing online. My vote goes til Michael Monkhouse then.
My vote goes to Marc P
CHARLES DAWSON'S STUDY. HE IS JOINED BY PROFESSOR WOODWARD.
WOODWARD
Dawson my dear chap, your discovery of Homo Piltodownensis has put the world of paleoanthropology into quite the flutter. The find of a lifetime, wot?
DAWSON
You would think so... but no.
WOODWARD
Come now, you are too modest, my good fellow. Archeologists have been scouring the globe in search of the missing link between man and ape, only for it turn up here in jolly old England. In Sussex.
DAWSON
Oh don't get me wrong that was a good one. But have a gander at this.
DAWSON PRODUCES A COCONUT WITH A PAIR OF FALSE TEETH ATTACHED.
WOODWARD
Good grief - it's a... What exactly is it?
DAWSON
Another early homonid.
WOODWARD
It appears to still have some hair attached, it's rather coarse. And what are these holes.
DAWSON
Oh those were just for sucking out the mi... (HE CATCHES HIMSELF.)
WOODWARD
Brains? Some sort of ritual sacrifice?
DAWSON
Yeah that would be it.
WOODWARD
The teeth are strikingly well preserved. May I...
WOODWARD POKES THE FALSE TEETH, WHICH START CHATTERING. DAWSON LOOKS SHEEPISH.
WOODWARD
Fascinating. The fossil seems to have preserved some sort of nervous reflex.
DAWSON
How about that?
WOODWARD
But where did you make this amazing discovery? Have your returned from some expedition into parts unknown?
DAWSON
I'm good here in Sussex.
WOODWARD
It's not from the same gravel pit as before?
DAWSON
We have an arrangement.
WOODWARD
Clearly a site favoured by our ancestors. My God this makes me proud to be British. This'll show those foreign johnnies who scoff at our Piltdown Man, wot?
DAWSON
Well if you like that, just wait till you see what else I found there.
DAWSON PRODUCES A STUFFED CROCODILE WITH A PAIR OF SWAN'S WINGS NAILED TO ITS BACK.
WOODWARD
My dear man, the missing link between the reptiles and the birds!!
END
In the words of Oscar Wilde, F**king hell.
I've found some skits in here and enjoyed them all but am ultimately plumping for SOOTYJ.
PS I'll be sans computer for a bit so the results'll be up much later'n usual.
PPS I love your participation. It's you that make the skit comp what it is, so heartfelt thanks to all of me. But normally we just post our entry up to closing time and comments can be posted afterwards along with your vote. Otherwise things get a tad hectic as you may've noticed.
PPPS Just read Gappy's comments which is jumping the proverbial gun but this thread's confused and confusing enough already so I'm sticking this in here (as I said to my mother). I find that when you have one idea (often a reversal) the sketches - and the jokes - write themselves. The first 'proper' skit I ever did was about a guy coming out as straight - not very original but having established the backbone of the skit it was very easy to write. Ronald Wolfe's 'Writing Comedy' claims that a sketch is essentially one idea (or two juxtaposed) and once you nail that idea it flows naturally, that's certainly my experience.
The gapster edges it from soots.
Sootyj.
Wow. Not only a bumper week of entries, and a real life playground scrap, but lots of good stuff to enjoy. I'm really not sure what I like most, I'm going to have to go through them again.
Funny Ha Ha: This is a very nice gag, it takes a fraction of a second to get, which is always enjoyable (and makes the audience feel clever!). Didn't like it when you added "white", though - "Elephant in the room" and "white elephant" are unrelated phrases that almost mean the opposite. Good stuff.
Mike: The central reversal is pretty obvious, but as is generally the Monkhouse case there are loads of good lines to keep the sketch going. That's a skill - if I write a sketch it has one joke that is just stretched or repeated with ever more baroque synonyms, so I do applaud the talent.
Nick81: I have to say, I've heard very similar stuff before, but that doesn't mean it's bad - quite the opposite, in many cases. This is incredibly tight. You describe yourself as a joke writer rather than a sketch writer, and I think that comes through, it's incredibly economical, but without feeling thin.
Jakob: Quite an odd one. There's no big twist or massive lines, and you think there's nothing to it, but it's just massively enjoyable, and I really found myself rooting for the cheeky chap at the end. Maybe an establishing scene from a film - why isn't Kafka comedy a genre? - rather than a self-contained sketch, but a good one.
Stonked: This starts brilliantly, but I thought the M&S ending was a let down. After line 6 it could have got more and more ridiculous as these old gents worked themselves into a frenzy about nothing, but it swerved away. The first half, though, I do love. One asking for a longer rewrite, perhaps?
Sooty: Strong whiffs of Hot Fuzz, of course, but vastly entertaining. I love the way it turns back on the victim half way, that's very subtly done. Maybe a smidgen too long, and "Daily Mail is our Koran" is clunky, but generally top notch. Also the last line is just perfect. Not a punchline, but an ending - once again, this is a skill I don't really have, so I doff my hat.
Tursiops: Cracking sketch. Simple but effective idea, nicely turned lines with precisely the right vocab, and a real visual kick: the wind-up teeth really made me giggle. I do think the ending could go further, though, I'm sure there are weirder things he could suggest the missing link between as he gets carried away.
I'm going to go for...Tursiops. Just for those f**king teeth. Sooty unfeasibly close second.
Very tough choice, but I'm going to vote for for Jakob - there's something about the phrasing which I really like.
Quote: gappy @ August 17 2013, 12:57 PM BSTStonked: This starts brilliantly, but I thought the M&S ending was a let down. After line 6 it could have got more and more ridiculous as these old gents worked themselves into a frenzy about nothing, but it swerved away. The first half, though, I do love. One asking for a longer rewrite, perhaps?
You're right, Gappy. I could have made a lot more of it. I fell into the trap of thinking that the bit about M&S - which was true, by the way - was funny enough in its own right. But within the context of a sketch it just wasn't, was it.
Thanks for the insightful critique. 
It is Nick81 for me, I liked the idea of the CSA chasing 007 for money