Skit Comp 9 - 16.8.13 Page 2

I've written thousands of jokes, and regularly frequent the hottest joke of the day chart on Sickipedia, where the majority of jokes that you see on the Internet originate. I'm sure you did write "your joke", but I was merely pointing out it had been done before and wasn't original. It just seemed highly coincidental that the joke is only four weeks old, and it appears here.

Regardless, thank you for your sterling assessment of my entry, and I will try my hardest, I really will, to amuse you in the future.

Just for the record, I'd love to see one of your stand up videos if you have any links, that would be great, cheers.

YOU'RE SPOILING SKIT COMP!!

yelled Bozo the clown.

Nellie the elephant packed her trunk and said goodbye to the circus.

Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ August 15 2013, 2:49 PM BST

as I say I think he's just upset because my joke is funny and his is not.

View original

Well that's controversial!

I suppose how the elephant was stuffed could be the key.

Quote: Shandonbelle @ August 15 2013, 3:36 PM BST

YOU'RE SPOILING SKIT COMP!!

yelled Bozo the clown.

Nellie the elephant packed her trunk and said goodbye to the circus.

View original

Jealous of his joke?

Now THAT'S funny.

A VILLAGE COMMITTEE (BRIAN, JEN, COLIN) IS SITTING AT A TABLE DAVE IS THE NEW GUY.

BRIAN

Welcome to Little Spode village committee meeting, Dave our newest member, he's come all the way from London.

JEN

Ooh London that must have been exiting.

DAVE

Yes I lived in Notting Hill, but I was looking for some where quieter, more of a community, less crime

JEN

How lovely did you meet that nice Mr Cameron?

BRIAN

Well Dave, even in Little Spode we have crime. And that brings us to our second order of business. Wheely bin over filling.

COLIN

Yes those Johnsons at 32, again, well they've been warned, and now action must be taken.

DAVE

It's only fair in Notting Hill. I had to call the council about my neighbour, putting food waste in his brown recycling bin. He got a £250 fine, harsh but fair.

BRIAN

We have something similar. Except instead of a £250 fine, we stand the Johnsons up in their bins.

DAVE

Public humiliation, harsh but maybe necessary.

COLIN

Then we fill the bins with petrol and set light to them.

DAVE

You kill them? That's horrible.

COLIN

Not really, I worked for Barclays in the 80s in the Middle East. I saw my first public beheading in Saudi. And I thought... that fellows never going to spray rude words on a Village Spa.

JEN

We were abit unsure at first. Then we stoned Mr Patterson to death for public drunkenness. Well no ones weed in our Duck pond since, so the Ducks certainly appreciate it.

DAVE

I can't believe what I'm hearing.

COLIN

The notion really became clear when I stoned my wife to death. She'd got a little tiddly on illicit, sherry. It was going to be lashes, but she also called Allah a rude word. The judge let me throw the first stone, proudest day of my life.

JEN

Hope you were with out sin, before you cast it?

THE COUNCIL LAUGH

JEN

So she was drunk and stoned.

THE COUNCIL LAUGH LOUDER.

BRIAN

We maybe a little unusual, but we're happy. Like the Taleban, but the Daily Mail is our Koran.

DAVE

You're all monsters, all of you, you white, murderous, smug, Church going.....

BRIAN

I beg your pardon? I'm Jewish. How dare you call me a Church going..

DAVE

What?

JEN

You've upset Brian now.

COLIN

There's no room for antisemites on this village council.

BRIAN

20 years trying to be accepted, and gone in an evening. I'll leave make this village juden frei. You'd like that wouldn't you David?

DAVE

I'm not an antisemite. But you're still murderers, all of you. Killing any one who disturbs your white, Anglo Saxon, way of....

DERECK WHO LOOKS LIKE ROBERT MUGABE IN A CARDIGAN STICKS HIS HEAD ROUND THE DOOR

DERECK

You going to be long love, only I want to know how much to put in the meter?

JEN

That's my husband, Dave. Dave was just telling us about how he wanted the village to be all white, and Jew free.

COLIN

Dave I think you'd better leave. Maybe try Nantwitch, I understand your type are more welcome there.

DAVE STUMBLES OUT OF THE OFFICE.

DAVE

You're all mad, I'm moving back to London.

BRIAN

Well I'm glad that's over, there always one isn't there?

COLIN

Now the Vicar, still won't shave his beard, and he will play that bedratted guitar.

BRIAN

We've finished building the cross, and I think the Bishop's on side.

JEN

Some one's getting cruicified, Oh Lord Kumbayar.

ALL LAUGH.

Bit old but then so am I

Quote: Nick81 @ August 15 2013, 3:35 PM BST

I've written thousands of jokes, and regularly frequent the hottest joke of the day chart on Sickipedia,

View original

Some people are so proud of such small achievements!

Sickipedia is a website full of sick, mostly unfunny jokes, Being awarded the "hottest joke of the day" on there, is like winning "Best looking man" in a burns unit!

You really are deluded. It's the number one joke site on the Internet and the majority of jokes posted are on every subject imaginable. Some of the greatest joke writers around regularly post on there so that shows your vast knowledge of the site.

All in all you are annoyed that someone queried your joke, and you've taken the hump.

what user name do you use on sickapedia?

I have a few, plus deleted accounts with jokes still on the site under unassigned.

Do you need some more jokes to pass off as your own?

I do!
If your so proud of your jokes why have so many accounts? or is it so you can vote on your own jokes and get joke of the day! I think I'm starting to understand you a little clearer now! Middle child by any chance?

Certain users get targeted, so having a couple (I only have one now current) enables the jokes to have a fair crack at the whip. For someone who doesn't know what Sickipedia is or what it's about, you seem to have a good grasp of users that feel the need to vote up their own jokes.

Anyway, check out my jokes, username Stash.

OK,
If you see any on here used in my material next week, its just a coincidence OK LOL!

Ok,
Just went on there and had a good look at your jokes,
and I wouldn't suggest you come to one of my stand up routines!

You might find the "All new material"that's starting next week in the second half a little to familiar! LOL

very good!

I don't like joke were the swear word is the funny bit, but so many good jokes! I was truly impressed. why didn't you post something that good on here instead of james bond CSA?

Comedy is subjective, if we all liked the same thing etc. I found the skit amusing, so posted it. I may be able to write jokes, but writing sketches etc may not be as easy, and that's what I want to start trying to do.

Sorry, I didnt mean to insult the james bond CSA thing, its just the jokes were very good, I'm still reading them!