My first sketch

CLOSE-UP ON FATHER AND TEENAGE SON NEXT TO EACH OTHER ON SOFA. THE FATHER IS HOLDING HIS SON'S HAND

SON
Dad, I have something to tell you...I think you may already know.

FATHER
Yes, your mother told me about the magazines under your bed.

A BEAT AS THE SON FINALLY PLUCKS UP COURAGE

FATHER
You'll always be my son - whatever.

SON
I'm straight.

THE CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SEE ANOTHER MAN HOLDING HIS FATHER'S HAND. THEY LOOK DEVASTATED.

Nice. Not sure it's the most original idea or maybe it just feels like it should have been done already but nicely done and you have a good style from what I can see of this short.
I would have put the 'I'm straight' line before the 'you'll always be my son' though.

Quote: Shandonbelle @ August 10 2013, 10:08 AM BST

Nice. Not sure it's the most original idea or maybe it just feels like it should have been done already but nicely done and you have a good style from what I can see of this short.
I would have put the 'I'm straight' line before the 'you'll always be my son' though.

View original

I agree that it's probably been done before. It is a bit obvious.

Thanks anyway.

Its a peculiar punchline

But its very well written and paced so it got a smile from me

Good stuff

Its a peculiar punchline

But its very well written and paced so it got a smile from me

Good stuff

Quote: sootyj @ August 10 2013, 10:47 AM BST

Its a peculiar punchline

But its very well written and paced so it got a smile from me

Good stuff

Its a peculiar punchline

But its very well written and paced so it got a smile from me

Good stuff

View original

Thank you. Can we be friends now?

We always were

Quote: sootyj @ August 10 2013, 10:59 AM BST

We always were

View original

I'm going to put up the first few scenes of Tigerfeet so you can tell me what you think.

You may have been right about my overstating him but he was the only character I did this with.

We'll see what people think.

You need to give a bit of a description of the people. At least the son's age.

As others have said, not bad, but not at all original - "La cage aux folles" has something similar.

I think society has moved on past the point where this sketch would work.

It's still a very promising start!