INSPECTOR
This had better be good sergeant!
SERGEANT
We've caught a spy ma'am
INSPECTOR
A Spy!, sergeant if you've dragged me.....
SERGEANT
No ma'am, I mean it's an actual spy. That's why I couldn't tell you over the phone.
INSPECTOR
Oh we have, have we, I see, now let me see if I can guess who arrested it?
SERGEANT
We haven't arrested him ma'am, he's here under his own accord at the moment.
INSPECTOR
Oh so he's a police compliant spy is he? Please let me hazard a guess the officer who cajoled an International spy into strolling into a police station
SERGEANT
Ma'am PCSO Button acted in a proper and fort..........
INSPECTOR
PCSO Button! Now there's a f**king shock! Sergeant I was halfway through a belated anniversary dinner with my husband. That dinner was my way of apologising for the real anniversary dinner which was ruined after I was dragged in here after PCSO Button claimed he had arrested David Beckham for drunk driving.
SERGEANT
You have to admit the resemblance was remarkable ma'am.
INSPECTOR
The man was a Polish national!
SERGEANT
We thought he was just slurring his words because he was drunk.I mean he's a great player but he's not the sharpish...
INSPECTOR
Sergeant! The Spy could we go back to discussing that again? Now I can understand Button jumping to that conclusion, but you sergeant!
The sergeant then empties a large envelope marked 'PROPERTY' onto the desk
We see a watch, pen, cigarette case and a blank credit card.
SERGEANT
Explain this to me then ma'am?
INSPECTOR
Explain what? Those are perfectly normal items for a man to have on him.
The sergeant then holds up each item and displays it's real use.
SERGEANT
The watch as you can see has a wire garrotte, the pen fires a metal dart, which you can see in the ceiling if you look up. The cigarette case is fitted with bloody Wi Fi and that blank card we had checked and it's got twenty five grand in sixteen different banks locked into the data strip
INSPECTOR
My god, this is massive, where is he now?
SERGEANT
It's PCSO's Button's collar ma'am so I let him lock him up.
PCSO Button then walks in
INSPECTOR
Well done Button! Sergeant just make sure chummy stays in his cell till we can work out what he's been up to.
PSCO BUTTON
He's not in a cell ma'am like I say he's not under arrest yet, so I've put him that empty room that no one knows what it's supposed to be used for, you know the one with the three shelves and that wall ventilator thingy.
INSPECTOR
Button you're an idiot!
