As a bat

CUSTOMER
Hello is that Amazon?

STAFF
It certainly is how can I help you today?

CUSTOMER
I bought four garden Gnomes off your website and I'm not happy at all, they must be at least eight foot tall!

STAFF
Do you have a reference number please?

CUSTOMER
484 BG

STAFF
That's showing up as Giant Garden Gnomes

CUSTOMER
Oh I'm sorry it's my own fault I must have ordered the wrong ones, my eyes aren't what they were

STAFF
No problem, is there anything else I can help you with today?

CUSTOMER
Yes while I'm on I'm best off cancelling that six toys for ten pound I ordered for my granddaughters birthday.

STAFF
Certainly what's the reference number please

CUSTOMER
98322ST

STAFF
Good shout.

I don't get the 484 BG answer or the 98322ST. Please explain it to meI want to get it.

She ordered sex toy for ten pound, I have to be honest and say with hindsight that this sketch is f**king shite.
I'll keep it up a lesson to myself.

Carlos thanks for at least trying to make sense of it, I know you Welsh are curious by nature but it was still nice of you to have a go.

I did try a few times to see if there was anything I was missing, I even thought the numbers might read something upside down, or backwards.

I will also remind you of this sketch from time to time if you fall off the wagon.

I got it.

I probably should mind my own business but I think it works if you lose the last 3 lines and very slightly reword it!

Something like this:

CUSTOMER
Hello is that Amazon?

STAFF
It certainly is how can I help you today?

CUSTOMER
I bought four garden Gnomes off your website and I'm not happy at all, they must be at least eight foot tall!

STAFF
Do you have a reference number please?

CUSTOMER
Yes it's BIG1GNOME

STAFF
That's showing up as Giant Garden Gnomes

CUSTOMER
Oh I'm sorry it's my own fault I must have ordered the wrong ones, my eyesight's not what it used to be

STAFF
No problem, is there anything else I can help you with today?

CUSTOMER
Yes while I'm on I'm best off cancelling the six toys for ten pounds I ordered for my granddaughters birthday.

butterscotch

There's a terrific sketch in there because it's a good idea.Why not extend it and get more and more doolally as you realise he's ordered more and more bonkers things that you couldn't order eg. a toy plastic tank for his nephew but they've delivered a full-size one etc.

I liked the idea of giant garden gnomes. After that it got a bit wank.