British Comedy Guide

Card Sharp

'We Have Any Card'
Greetings Card Shop

A member of staff is sorting the cards

CUSTOMER
Sorry to bother you, it's bit embarrassing actually

STAFF
Smiles
I can assure you we're use to everything.

CUSTOMER
I can't seem to find a card for my friend who's been diagnosed as a kleptomaniac.

STAFF
Scowls
We keep them behind the counter!

Whilst it made me snigger, Teddy, this falls down logically. The friend is not the kleptomaniac. So why would they need to hide the cards from them?

Nice idea though. There really are cards for everything these days.

I knew that as I wrote Jennie.
But as I have stopped doing sketches due to my writing a novel I just like to kep my hand in.

What's you novel about?

Are you going to pop some up on critique?

It's hilarious but I'm keeping it under wraps and will publish it as a fete accompli so as to prevent doubt overtaking insight.

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ August 7 2013, 5:40 PM BST

I will publish it as a fete accompli

You're going to print it once the jumble sale's finished? Good idea; I mean, those tombolas don't man themselves.

Quote: gappy @ August 8 2013, 12:38 PM BST

You're going to print it once the jumble sale's finished? Good idea; I mean, those tombolas don't man themselves.

vg

No to much of leap, sorry (Places cigar back in box)

Front of the card:

We are so sorry you have been diagnosed as a kleptomaniac
keep taking the pills and you might be cured

Inside of card:
If you are reading this before I have given you it
Take more pills.

The only joke I have about a kleptomaniac,
is the one I stole from another comedian.

PATIENT: Doctor, do you have anything that will cure my kleptomania?

DOCTOR: You will need to take these pills. Oh, I see you already have.

:D

Help yourself to a cigar Tursiops...ah, see you already have.

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