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https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/14314/

Quote: Jennie @ August 9 2013, 4:39 PM BST

Hi Playfull,

I like this - it's thoughtful and interesting. It could do with a bit of an edit - your chap is a bit slow on the uptake.

I think it is definitely radio material. The visual is almost irrelevant and the imagination can do much more than the camera.

It still feels more like a sketch than a sitcom to me.

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Thanks Jennie, I am not sure my chap is slow, just struggling to understand given the circumstances. I did partially write it as a sort of dialogue exercise so it might be a little indulgent in that area.
I will be looking at writing a radio version so I appreciate your view on that and thanks for voting for sketch over sitcom.

Your time and opinion is appreciated.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ August 9 2013, 4:17 PM BST

I have now read it all. A good 1ST ACT

and... I want to know what happens next, that's always a good sign.

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Thanks for reading all the way through Stephen,

I like "good 1st Act". Though It suggests more work...

Quote: Jaicee @ August 9 2013, 7:01 PM BST

I'm not sure if it's strange and wonderful but not a comedy really or calculating because of these daft producers who are obsessed with teenage vampires.Either way you're doing something right by writing.

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Thanks Jaicee, I did think twice about posting this because there are bloody vampires in everything at the moment. I am expecting the Emmerdale Christmas special to be a Zombie vampire Woolpack apocalypse. The fact is I wrote this a few years ago before 'Being Human' or 'Twilight' and thought I really don't know what I might be able to do with it.

I now have a couple of directions I will explore - so thanks everyone for your valuable comments.

regards

playfull