This came to me in a vision whilst walking home in the rain. It's in poor, prejudiced and I doubt it's funny. If you read it, well that's your problem.
THE GRUMPY EXECUTIONER STANDS NEXT TO JEFF THE CONDEMNED MAN (CM) WHO IS UNUSUALLY TALL AND HAS A NOOSE AROUND HIS NECK
GE
You have been sentenced to death by a jury of your peers....
CM(INTERRUPTING)
Isn't there meant to be two of you?
GE
Yes there usually is, where is that dimwit? I turn around to hitch the noose and he's gone. I can't apologise enough.
CM
Well this is a health and safety disaster, I could be killed.
GE
You're about to be executed. And didn't you used to be taller?
CM
Not by accident I'll sue.
SNIGGERING COMES FROM CM'S MIDSECTION GE STOPS SCRATCHES HIS CHIN, THEN RIPS OPEN CM'S SHIRT TO REVEAL HE IS A MIDGET SITTING ON THE CHEERFUL AIDES (CA) SHOULDERS.
CA
Ha fooled you!
CM
Oh the look on your face, I wish I had a camera.
CA LIFTS OFF OF HIS SHOULDER AND SETS HIM DOWN ON THE TRAPDOOR, BEFORE PULLING OUT HIS CAMERA PHONE AND TAKING A PICTURE OF THE GE'S RED FUMING FACE
CA
Good thing I do!
GE PULLS THE LEAVER THE MIDGET DISAPPEARS DOWN THE TRAPDOOR
GE
You idiot why did you even stick him on your shoulder?
THE CM'S SEVERED HEAD FLYS BACK UP THROUGH THE TRAPDOOR AND SMACKS THE GE IN THE FACE WHO FALLS ON HIS BUM
CA TAKES HIS PICTURE.
CA
Because he's so tidgy the noose would rip his head right off! Oh the look on you're face.
GE
I hate you so very much.