MAGIC weekly sketch comp

Right - start of another competition which I've cut and pasted again. Even more chance of a mistake(s).

The latest comedy competition is on the theme "MAGIC" chosen by Charley.

Last weeks:

Anyway, lets get on with this weeks comp and this weeks winner.

This weeks winner is... FRED PETERS! Hoorah!

And with the new points system you win 10 big shiny points!

Votes - Points - Name
03 - 10 - Fred Peters
02 - 05 - Jude
02 - 05 - Kent Pete
01 - 01 - Frankie Rage
01 - 01 - Winterlight

This weeks topic again is: MAGIC

Rules:
One entry per person.
Can be a sketch, joke, lyric or anything along those lines.
Please try and only post your entry and no other posts.
You can edit your entry as much as you want, up until the closing time.

Competition Closes: Monday 27 August

Good luck!

Overall Leader Board then is as follows:-

Points - Name
60 - Leevil
25 - Charley Rance
20 - Jude
16 - Michael Monkhouse
10 - Fred Peters
11 - David Chapman
10 - Swerytd
09 - ajp29
09 - ShoePie
08 - Kent Pete
06 - Frankie Rage
05 - Greggles
04 - Andy W
04 - losaavedra
03 - Stylo
02 - Imamazed
02 - Slack Bladder
02 - Paul Nash
02 - Boits
01 - Gavin
01 - EllieJP
01 - Skibbington von Skubber
01 - Ginger Jesus
01 - Nick Rivers
01 - Daddy Maz
01 - Martin Bickle
01 - Hellboy
01 - Winterlight

Spot any mistakes? Wouldn't surprise me as I'm a virgin moderator so PM me. Thanks

This is vaguely about magic?! It's old anyway and I haven't entered before.

Hypnotist- Sketch

INT. THEATRE. NIGHT

A HYPNOTIST HAS A MEMBER OF THE AUDIENCE ON STAGE AND IS ABOUT TO HYPNOTISE HIM. HE IS HOLDING A VENTRILOQUIST’S DUMMY.

Hypnotist
Now, I want you to look deep into Mr Monkey’s eyes. Relax and imagine Mr Monkey… You are about to enter Mr Monkey’s mind… You are about to become Mr Monkey…Now… You are Mr Monkey.

Now ladies and gentleman, Alan here has become Mr Monkey. He now has the thoughts and experiences of Mr Monkey in his own mind.

Can you here me Alan?

Alan
I’m not Alan.

Hypnotist
Who are you?

Alan
I am Mr Monkey.

Hypnotist
Hello Mr Monkey, how are you today?

Alan
I’m okay thank you.

Hypnotist
Where do you live Mr Monkey?

Alan
I live in a case. It’s all dark in the case.

Hypnotist
What do you do?

Alan
You know what I do. You are my keeper.

Hypnotist
Why don’t you tell the ladies and gentleman about the fun times we have performing?

Alan To the audience)
It’s horrible…It’s so dark in the case. Sometimes he gets me out of the case in the middle of the night…

Hypnotist
Yes thank you Mr Monkey…

Alan
No I want to tell them…dripping wet after a hot bath. Then, he uses my face to dry his groin. When he gets to full arousal, he violates me with his dirty man parts.

Sometimes, he gets me out of the case and weeps saying” I didn’t mean to hurt you. Don’t tell anybody, it’ll be our secret.” And that awful night of twisted debauchery that I can hardly bring myself to mention. The smell of goats repels me to this day.

(To Hypnotist) You should be ashamed of yourself. When I think of how those poor donkeys must have suffered. And don’t forget your agent knows nothing of your inclusion on the sex offenders register.

HYPNOTIST’S DEMEANOUR HAS DETERIORATED GRADUALLY THROUGHOUT ALAN’S SPEECH. HE IS NOW ON HIS KNEES CRYING. AFTER THE SPEECH, HE SUDDEN REALISES SOMETHING AND BEGINS TO PERK UP.

Hypnotist
But if you are not around to tell anyone about my secrets, then nobody will ever find out. No more Mr Monkey.

HYPNOTIST REACHES INTO HIS POCKET AND PRODUCES A PISTOL AND SHOOTS ALAN IN THE HEAD. ALAN FALLS TO THE GROUND. HE IS DEAD.

Hypnotist
He never loved me anyway.

HYPNOTIST THROWS THE GUN AWAY AND RUNS OFFSTAGE.
ENTER ONSTAGE, A CHEESY COMPERE.

Compere (In true showbiz style)
Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together and show your appreciation for Tony Trance and Mr Monkey!

CURTAIN FALLS

E/FX. SOUND OF LONE CLAPPER. STUNNED SILENCE AND POLICE SIREN QUIETLY AT FIRST BUT GETTING GRADUALLY LOUDER.

MY HUSBAND THE MAGICIAN.

INT

2 female friends & neighbours chatting over coffee.

Female 1
(Smiling) My husband has special powers you know.

Female 2
(Eyebrow raised) WoW! What are they?

Female 1
(Leans in closer) He is a magician. A real life Magic man

Female 2
(Mouth open) Impressive.

Female 1
(Nods) He can make himself disappear & reappear.

Female 2
Example………………….

Female 1
(Deep breath) Well yesterday I was chatting to him at this very table. I turned my back for 2 seconds & when I turned around he had gone.

Female 2
(Shakes her head) That’s incredible.

Female 1
Yep & when I rang his mobile he was in the pub. He said he has no idea on how he got there. He just appeared there.

Female 2
(Clicks her fingers) Like that. Poof.

Female 1
He may well be one of those. Anyway that’s not all. He can also pull things out of thin air.

Female 2
Like ………….

Female 1
Arguments for one.
We will be having a nice chat about things then for no apparent reason he will pull from thin air, an old row we had in the past. That’s normally followed by his disappearing & reappearing in the pub act.

Female 2
Do you know what. I reckon my husband is a Magician too.

Female 1
Maybe he is. Have you ever awoke in the night to find him gone from beside you.

Female 2
Why yes I have.

Female 1
Yep that’s another trick. I watched from my window & I saw him appear in the house opposite. The single mothers house opposite. When I confronted him the poor bloke had no idea how he got there. He said (Puts on a mans voice). Its this bloody magic shit.

Female 2
Yes, is that no 4. I have seen my husband appear there too. He reckons he was sleep walking though. Now I am not so sure. It could be this Magic shit.

Female 1
Well I was so fascinated by his magical abilities that I took a course on it myself. So far I have made all his savings disappear, they have reappeared in my saving account. I also made his beloved motorbike disappear. That has reappeared at the bottom of a cliff. I have also made myself disappear & appear at his brother’s house. In his bed of all places. (Shakes her head).
My favourite trick of all though is that I am in the process of pulling, from thin air, a divorce. I think he will be very impressed by my new special powers. You should take a course yourself.

Female 2
Yes I think I will. This magic stuff is cool.

CLOSE

damn - i thought this was a thread about springsteen's new album 'Magic' due out 2nd Oct.

Int. Cave – Night

Derren the elf is in his cosy, candlelit cave. He is pottering about at a table and preparing a spell in a glass tube.

Derren: So, I’ve mixed the thistleroot with the wart of a crone. Right.

Derren looks over the table and picks up a magic wand. He waves it at his concoction.

Derren: Ali-kazam! Ali-kazam! ALI-KAZAM!

There is a puff of smoke and a white rabbit appears on the table. Derren peers closely at the rabbit.

Derren: Oh fiddlesticks! What is this? Where is the silver crown I summoned?!

Derren sits down at his table and starts petting the rabbit. He sighs.

Derren: I’m no better than a childrens party entertainer.

Suddenly, there is a banging on the front door of Derren’s cave. Derren looks over.

Derren: (Shouts) Come in, Master. The doors open.

The door open and standing there is the infamous wizard, Merlin. He is wearing a purple wizards outfit. He stumbles in and is obviously drunk.

Derren: (Concerned) Master! Pray tell me, what is the matter?

Derren gets up out of his chair. Merlin stands there and mumbles away incoherently.

Derren: (Accusingly) Have you been at the mead again, Master?

Merlin hiccups and then stumbles towards Derren and starts drunkenly groping at him.

Derren: (Shocked) Master, please let go of my tunic.

Derren gently pushes Merlin and he tumbles backwards into the safety of a comfy chair. He pulls what looks like a crude cigarette out of his wizards sleeve and puts it in his mouth. He clicks his fingers and it lights up all by itself.

Merlin: (In between puffs) I’d rather be sucking on something else…..

Derren: (Sharply) I shall not hear of it!

Merlin hiccups and puts his hands up in a ‘calm down’ gesture.
Merlin: Anyway, what are you messing about with over there? What’s that rabbit doing here?

Derren goes and sits down at his table again.

Derren: Well, a young man came to see me this morning and he had a message!

Merlin: Ooooh! I had a young man come and give me a massage this morning. I wonder if it was the same one?

Derren: (Angrily) I said ‘MESSAGE’! It was a message from King Arthur! I am to make an enchanted crown for Queen Quinevere. However, I’m having a little trouble and don’t want to upset the King.

Merlin: Believe me, You do not wanna get involved with him

Derren: Why ever not?

Merlin: He’s nothing but a prick tease.

Derren: Master, I think you mean to say that he is our honourable and noble king.

Merlin: (Vexed) I’m telling you! He’s a prick tease. Last week, he came round my place and proved it.

Derren: (Mockingly) Oh really?!

Merlin: Straight up! He kept making suggestive comments about the length of his lance, so I showed him a bit of leg and before you could say “ducky”, he’d ran out the door.

Derren: This is definitely not funny. Now, I need to know whether you are going to help me conjure up this crown. The Queen’s birthday will be ruined otherwise.

Merlin pulls a filthy look and lips his licks. He pulls a leather thong out of his wizards sleeve and stretches it.

Merlin: You know the price.

Merlin lets the thong snap back on itself. Derren gets up and sighs. He walks over to Merlin and takes the thong from his hands. Merlin does a little joyful dance in his chair

Derren: The things I’ll do to keep a queen happy.

Paul Daniels got bored of pulling rabbits out of a hat so he's started pulling hares out of his arsehole.

All those who belive in telekinessic, raise my hand.

TOUGH GIG

SCENE 1 INT. – NIGHT (DRESSING ROOM)
(COMPARE, MARVIN, BRENDA)

THE MARVELLOUS MARVIN AND HIS ONCE GLAMOROUS ASSISTANT BRENDA ARE BACKSTAGE IN A SMALL, BRIGHT AND MESSY DRESSING ROOM. CLOTHES AND COSTUMES CAN BE SEEN ON RAILS, A CALANDER IS ON THE BACK OF THE DRESSING ROOM DOOR AND BELOW THE DESK-SIDE MIRROR IS A MAKE-UP BOX OF MANY COLOURS AND MAGICAL ACCESSORIES.

MARVIN, LATE 40’S, IS SLIM, CLEAN SHAVEN AND SPORTS A RECEEDING DARK/GREY HAIRLINE. HE IS WEARING A DARK PAIR OF TROUSERS AND A WHITE SHIRT WITH A RED PAIR OF BRACES. HE IS FOCUSED.

BRENDA, LATE 40’S, IS SLIM, LONG PEROXIDE BLONDE HAIR. SHE IS WEARING A RATHER CONSERVATIVE, LONG, BLACK DRESS WITH A FEATHER IN HER HAIR.
MARVIN IS PRACTISING HIS BREATHING TECHNIQUES WHILE BRENDA FILES HER NAILS, CHEWS GUM AND TRIES HER HAND AT THE CROSSWORD.

BRENDA
READING SLOWLY FROM HER CROSSWORD.
Robbie Williams’ 2002 album sets him free. 10 letters.

MARVIN
HIS BREATHING RHYTHYM BROKEN AND INWARDLY ANNOYED.
Pardon?

BRENDA
6 down, Robbie Williams 2002 album. Any idea?

MARVIN
Not now, Brenda. Can’t you see I’m breathing!

A KNOCK IS HEARD FROM THE DRESSING ROOM DOOR, WHICH THEN OPENS.
ENTER THE COMPARE.

THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR WE CAN HEAR SLIGHT BOOING COMING FROM THE MAIN STAGE.

COMPARE
Five minute call, Marvin. Good luck.

MARVIN
MARVIN TURNS TO THE COMPARE AND REGISTERS THE NOISE.
My God! Who are they booing now?

COMPARE
Les.

MARVIN
The comedian?

COMPARE
So he led us to believe. I’ve heard funnier lines read off the back of a fag packet.

BRENDA
I quite like Les’s jokes. Must be a tough crowd in tonight.

COMAPRE
Tough! Have you ever made a 19 stone bouncer cry?

BRENDA
No.

COMPARE
Well, they have.
BEAT

Anyway, good luck, ‘cause you’re both going to need it.

COMPARE CLOSES THE DRESSING ROOM DOOR.
SILENCE RETURNS. MARVIN AND BRENDA LOOK AT EACH OTHER NERVOUSLY.

MARVIN
Look’s like we’re going to have to resort to our special magical act, Brenda! The one we’ve been rehearsing all these years.

BRENDA
Not the one where you get me to wear a bunny costume, eat cheese and sing ‘Land of my fathers’ under a heat lamp?

MARVIN
No, we shall save the Welsh rarebit act for Cardiff.
BEAT
I was actually thinking of a much simpler act.

BRENDA
Which is?

MARVIN
Disappearing through that door and not coming back.
MARVIN POINTS TO THE DRESSING ROOM DOOR.

BRENDA
It will never work.

MARVIN
Why not?

BRENDA
I heard the compare lock it just after he left.

MARVIN
The fiend!
BEAT

OK Brenda. Let’s think about this logically for a while.

BOTH SIT DOWN, SEEMINGLY IN DEEP THOUGHT. AFTER A GOOD LONG PAUSE MARVIN JUMPS UP VERY EXCITED AND CLICKS HIS FINGERS!
I’ve got it! Escapology!

BRENDA
SLIGHTLY STARTLED AND CONFUSED.
Escapology?

MARVIN
Yes, 6 down, Robbie Williams 2002 album!

BRENDA
Oh, right. Thanks.

MARVIN
Not a problem.
THEN

No, wait. Perhaps that’s it.

BRENDA
What is?

MARVIN
Escapology! Thank you Robbie.
WE SEE MARVIN WINK AT A ROBBIE WILLIAMS CALANDER ON THE BACK OF THE DRESSING ROOM DOOR.

BRENDA
What are you on about?

MARVIN
Just think about it. We have a hostile audience waiting for us.

BRENDA
Yeah?

MARVIN
Well, why not make them work for us?

BRENDA
With the wages you give out, you can expect monkeys!

MARVIN
No, engage them in the act like we did in Blackpool at Willy Russo’s!

BRENDA
No way! I’m not doing that again. We’ve only just been allowed back in the Magic Circle.

MARVIN
She was heckling!

BRENDA
She was 97!

MARVIN
Old people have no respect anymore.

BRENDA
They have more than you.
BEAT

Besides, she wasn’t heckling you. She was trying to grab your attention.

MARVIN
Is that what she called it!

A KNOCK IS ONCE MORE HEARD FROM THE DRESSING ROOM DOOR, WHICH THEN OPENS.
THE COMPARE RETURNS AND LOOKS MORE ANXIOUS. LOUDER BOOING IS HEARD.

COMPARE
Right, come on. You two are up next.

MARVIN
Well, let’s get this over with. The quicker we’re on, the quicker we’re off.

COMPARE
Hopefully not too quickly.

BRENDA
Why?

COMPARE
Mrs Pilkington isn’t back yet and she’s got the results of the jam contest.

MARVIN
Jam contest? This is last time we ever do a show for the WI!

MARVIN AND BRENDA WALK SLOWLY TO THE STAGE TO THE SOUND OF SLOW HAND CLAPPING.
THE COMPARE CLOSES THE DRESSING ROOM DOOR AND THE ROBBIE WILLIAMS CALANDER SWINGS IN THE SILENCE.

hey, Hellboy's using a Steven Wright joke!

Here is my entry, first time hope you like it.

Following an episode of Deal or No Deal, Magician Torrini has something he would like to ask his wife Gloria.

Torrini: - Darling you know I have a performance in two days.

Gloria: - Yes.

Torrini: - Do you think you could lie down in the box while I saw you in half?

Gloria: - What again

Torrini: - Just for magic darling I want it to be perfect.

Gloria: - Ok no problem give me 5 minutes so I can get setup then come in.

GLORIA DISSAPEARS SHE GRABS A BAG FULL OF FAKE BLOOD AND CLIMBS INSIDE THE BOX.

Gloria: - I'm ready darling.

TORRINI PRETENDS HE IS ADDRESSING AN AUDIENCE.

Torrini: - For my next trick I will literally saw my wife in half, for the men in the audience promise you won't try this one when you get home, no matter how much she nags ya.

TORRINI BEGINS TO SAW THROUGH THE BOX IN THE MEANTIME HIS WIFE HAS PLACED THE BAG OF FAKE BLOOD
IN DIRECT LINE WITH THE BLADE.AS TORRINI SAWS THROUGH HE HEARS A SQUELCH NOISE AND GLORIA DOES A LOUD FAKE SCREAM.

Torrini: - Gloria, Gloria.

TORRINI OPENS THE BOX AT THE HEAD AREA HIS WIFE'S EYES ARE WIDE OPEN AND HER FACE IS PALE.

Torrini: - Oh no, oh no.

TORRINI REACHES FOR HIS MOBILE DIALS 999.

Operator: - Emergency Services.

Torrini - Hello yes I have, oh god what have I done.

Operator: - O.k Sir, try and stay calm what has happened.

Torrini: - I'm a magician.

Operator: - Really are you well known

Torrini: - Well yeah quite well known.

Operator: – O.K. What has happened Paul.

Torrini: - Sorry I'm not Paul Daniels.

Operator: - What other well known magicians are there.

Torrini: - Look never mind that I'm phoning because I have had an accident.

TORRINI CAN'T BEAR TO LOOK AT HIS WIFE ANYMORE AND WALKS FROM THE GARAGE INTO THE KTICHEN.

Operator: - Can you elaborate sir.

Torrini: - I've how can I say it; I've sawn my wife in half.

Operator: - Is she dead sir?

Torrini: - Yes there is blood everywhere and her face is pale.

Operator: - Ok Sir an ambulance will be on its way. Could you give me your location.

GLORIA GETS UP OUT OF THE BOX AND CASUALLY WALKS INTO THE KITCHEN AS IF NOTHING HAS HAPPENED.

Gloria: - Hi Darling everything ok.

Torrini: - But you, oh god.

TORRINI FAINTS GLORIA PICKS UP THE PHONE.

Gloria: - Sorry operator I found my husband having an affair and this was the only suitable way I could find to repay him.

THE END

EXT. THE FEEDING OF THE FIVE THOUSAND, JESUS IS STOOD A LITTLE WAY OFF ON A HILL SIDE TALKING ON A MOBILE PHONE.

JESUS:
Right, right.. yeah I know they're hungry man, yeah.. OK, keep yer Calvins on! (PAUSE) No it will work, I'll be right down, yeah..

JESUS HANGS UP AND DIALS A DIFFERENT NUMBER

JESUS: (STILL ON MOBILE BUT LOOKING UP)
Dad? Come on, what's up.. it's not working down here.. I’m looking like a right twat..

WE HEAR GOD SPEAKING DOWN FROM THE SKY.

GOD:
Sorry, Son systems gone down..

JESUS:
Again? What's wrong this time?

GOD:
Oh, ‘Windows’ has crashed and it won't reboot..

JESUS: (ANGRY)
Again, again, again ..in Gods name, where’s that Apple I ordered?

GOD:
Yes, YOU did order it in MY name.. and it came, but I didn't sign for it..

JESUS:
What? Why ever not? Are we broke again? You could have stuck it on a card..

GOD:
No, it wasn't that.. it's just.. well, you know I've had a lot of trouble with Apples over the years.. I remember Eden..

JESUS:
Jeez, can't you ever forget that, you're always living in the past, man..

GOD: (GLUMLY)
Well, I'm always living everywhere all the time.. and I can't forget anything..

JESUS:
Reboot the bugger again..

GOD:
I already have..

JESUS:
Well?

GOD:
Nothing, still down sorry, all the miracle stuff’s on the system.. I can’t do anything..

JESUS:
What about some simple magic, could you manage that?

GOD: (BRIGHTENING SLIGHTLY)
Dunno, Son it’s been a long time.. but I’ll give it a try..

JESUS:
Good, let’s get going before they crucify me..

JESUS REJOINS THE CROWD AND THERE IS A LOT OF CHEERING AS HE TAKES A COVERED BASKET AND HOLDS IT UP ABOVE HIS HEAD.

JESUS:
I take this humble basket of loaves and fishes and.. well, erm.. Hey Presto!

THERE IS A FLASH, A PUFF OF SMOKE AND A LOUD POP AS THE CLOTH COVER FLIES OFF THE BASKET AND A HUGE BUNCH OF PAPER FLOWERS AND PAPER STREAMERS BURSTS OUT WITH A SIGN SAYING “HAPPY TENTH BIRTHDAY, NIGEL!”

Loved Charley's. Madcap, like I see a lot of her stuff is.

Wasn't too sure about Frankie's. Just didn't find it funny but that's what's good about comedy I suppose, very subjective.

Good standard though, I'll have to have a go .

And yes Winterlight , I noticed Hellboy's steven wright steal. Is that allowed ?. If so....

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

Easy peasy.
Lemon squeasy.

Thanks for that Caroline. I lurrrrve you.

GET ME A PLUMBER!

INT. NIGHT. A COUPLE ARE FILLING A DISHWASHER.
AS THEY FINISH, THE MAN LOOKS UP AND ADDRESSES THE WOMAN.

Man:
Well, chores all done, time for some bank holiday sexy intercourse?

Woman:
Yep – a bank holiday is a wank holiday!

Man:
Aha. Shall I go and get your nurse’s outfit?

JUST THEN, SOME WATER STARTS SPURTING OUT OF A PIPE.

Woman:
Ah! Do something!

Man:
Do something? Who are you, Dick Dastardly?

Woman:
Well what are we going to do?

Man:
It’ll get fixed, somehow…

Woman:
How? Like am I going to fix it - with my magic fanny?!

AS SHE SAYS THIS, A LIGHT SHINES FROM HER GENITAL AREA. FX, CHOIRS OF ANGELS/EUNOCHS. A WIZARD EMERGES, SPLUTTERING FROM THE DRY ICE.

Man:
Yes. ‘Ere, are you a wizard?
Woman:
Genius.

Wizard:
Of the most magical kind, sir!

THE WIZARD LICKS THE MAN’S FACE.

Woman:
So, can you please fix our pipe?

Wizard:
Yes, by the power of the spanner of Barrathuba, I call upon the cauldron of tadpole alley to mend the pipe.

HE BRANDISHES A SPANNER AND LOOKS UP TO THE HEAVENS, AS DO THE EXPECTANT COUPLE. NOTHING HAPPENS.

Woman:
And?

Wizard:
OK, the ball end of Homebasea shall staunch the flow of the torrent of Godthaab..

HE LICKS THE MAN’S FACE AGAIN.

Woman:
Why is he licking your face?

Man:
He’s a wizard.

Woman:
Look, mate, can’t you just magic us a plumber?

Wizard:
Not on a bank holiday, love.

NOW DRENCHED, THE WIZARD MELTS AND DISAPPEARS JUST LIKE THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST IN THE WIZARD OF OZ.

Wizard:
I’m meltiiiiing! I’m meltiiing!

Woman:
What now?

Man:
Magic scrotum?

A STRONG LIGHT SHINES FROM THE MAN’S GENITAL AREA. FX, CHOIRS OF ANGELS.

CUT.

CASEY SITS IN THE POLICE CELL TALKING TO HER FRIEND LAURA.

BOTH ARE DRESSED IN STAGE COSTUMES, CASEY’S IS COVERED IN BLOOD.

LAURA
What happened?

CASEY
I killed my partner.

LAURA
That was careless.

CASEY
More accidental really, my hand slipped.

LAURA
Which trick?

CASEY
The cut someone in half. It was my first time. I got carried away.

LAURA
Couldn’t they do anything?

CASEY
Apparently not, I’d sawn clean through. Fingers and stuff can sometimes be replaced, but a torso, forget it!

LAURA
How tragic.

CASEY
So.. the upside is my partner still has a top and bottom half, the downside, they’re no longer joined together.

LAURA
Oh dear.

CASEY
It’s a setback. The thing is, in the world of magic, even accidental separation of body parts is a sacking offence.

CASEY’S EYES MIST OVER WITH TEARS. SHE BEGINS TO CRY.

LAURA
Come on, that’s not going to help!

CASEY
It’s not that. It’s just one silly little mistake and I’m no longer able to call myself a magician!

LAURA LOOKS STUNNED, SHE GETS UP TO LEAVE.

CASEY
Hey Laura, come back! Did I tell you what happened to the guy I was throwing knives at in rehearsals?

THE POLICE CELL DOOR SLAMS SHUT.