I think this might be slightly cliff-phobic so apologies to any cliffs out there.
CLIFF
TV commercial for a groovy new web-site .
Male One
I'm a gay man!
Female One
I'm a lesbian!
Female Two
I'm a bi-sexual!
Male Two
I'm a Cliff Richard!
Male One
Because I'm a gay man I like to have sex with men.
Female One
Because I'm a lesbian I like to have sex with women.
Female Two
Because I'm a bisexual I like having sex with men and women.
Male Two
Pause
Because I'm a Cliff Richard ...
Pause
...I don't think about things like ...er..sex.
Male One
I live with my partner Roger . He's yummy and we have sex all the time.
Female One
I live with my partner Chanelle ...she's Australian...
Pause
...so it can get pretty wild round our place .
Female Two
I'm fairly indiscriminate at the moment so keep your fingers crossed guys ...and girls.
Male Two
I share a house with my old friend Daniel , he's a country and Irish singer . Daniel and I are handsome men of a certain age with good tans who like to dress in a stylish manner . We love tennis, the theatre and a good work-out in the gym .
Of an evening we like nothing better than a good discussion about current affairs . We both love Jeremy Paxman but think he can be a bit too cheeky sometimes and always end the evening with Daniel and I reading our favourite passages from the Bible.
Female One
So if you're gay , lesbian, bi-sexual or a Cliff Richard why not come down and join us at
www. gaylesbianbisexualorcliffrichard.com and meet like minded people .
Ends
