SUPER MAN ADRESSES A HUGE ADORING CROWD INFRONT OF THE DAILY PLANET WATCHED BY PERRY WHITE, JIMMY OLSEN AND LOIS LANE
SUPERMAN
People of Metropolis Gallactus is defeated, Lex Luthor is in jail and I've taken the man with the sticks, stick away.
CROWD CHEER
SUPERMAN
Once again the world is safe for truth, justice and the Chinese way.
CROWD CHEER THEN SUDDENLY STOP
SUPERMAN TURNS PICK UP THE GIANT GLOBE OUTSIDE THE DAILY PLANET AND THROWS IT AT THE DAILY PLANET DEMOLISIHING IT
SUPERMAN
Freedom from the lies of the corporate lacky press.
SUPERMAN BLOWS UP PERRY WHITE WITH HIS LASER BEAM EYES
SUPERMAN
All businesses to be owned by the workers.
LOIS AND JIMMY HIDE BEHIND A TREE
JIIMMY
Holy smokes have the reds used red kryptonite on Supes?
LOIS
No Jimmy Superman seems preprogrammed to follow who ever's the dominant super power. The big blue blockhead following the Chinese way.
JIMMY
Yikes not the Mormons.
A MINI BUS FULL OF MORMONS DRIVE UP TO THE SQUARE (THEY ARE ALL ONE FAMILY)
SUPERMAN
More than one child per family is decadent.
SUPERMAN PICKS UP THE BUS AND THROWS IT INTO THE SUN.
LOIS
I have a plan Jimmy.
JIMMY
No miss Lane he'll kill you!
LOIS LANE STRIDES UPTO SUPERMAN AND HOLDS UP A COPY OF NEWSWEEK
LOIS
Stop Superman China isn't the real super power, it's economies based on short term investment not long term growth and education.
SUPERMAN SLUMPS FORWARD SHOCKED
SUPERMAN
Then who is the real super power?
LOIS
The European Union.
JIMMY
Merde!
SCENE 2
SUPERMAN ADRESSES A CROWD IN METROPOLIS, SUPERMAN IS WEARING A BERET AND GARLIC AROUND HIS KNECK
SUPERMAN
Citizens of Metropolis bendy bananas have been straightened, Batman is in jail for upsetting Lex Luthor who is now the EU commissioner for evil and I have banished the evil of women shaving.
LOIS LANE AND JIMMY OLSEN SIT AMONGST A CROWD OF METROPOLIS CITIZENS DRUNKENLY HAVING A SIESTA ON THE ONE DAY A YEAR THEY WORK.
LOIS LANE SCRATCHES HER UNDERARM MISERABLY