INTERNAL - DAY - OFFICE - ROMGATE BOROUGH COUNCIL PREMISES AND FACILITIES DEPARTMENT - MEETING ROOM 6
THERE ARE 8 PEOPLE SEATED AROUND A MEETING TABLE, THEY ARE ALL DRESSED IN SUITS, INCLUDING THE WOMEN.
Boss: We all know from the email why I called this meeting, so I will just get on with it. Last week Brian brought to my attention that property has been going missing from the office, it is not the first time that it has happened and this company does not and will not tolerate theft of any kind.
Mark: In all fairness boss, the last time something went missing we found out later it was the contractors that were in to fix the toilets.
Boss: Nothing was proven if you remember, although it was likely that they were the culprits it has never been proven.
Mark: So what has gone missing this time?
Boss: I will hand you over to Brian, as he knows the details better than me.
BRIAN PULLS OUT AN A4 FILOFAX TYPE OF THING.
Brian: Last Thursday I went into the cupboard that contains, ink cartridges, blank CD's and tea bags, and noticed that 3 tea bags were missing from the jar, I know this because I count them everyday.
Mark: How do you know how many cups of tea are being drunk each day?
BRIAN GETS UP WALKS TO THE FRONT OF THE ROOM POWERS ON LAPTOP AND BRINGS UP A SPREADSHEET ON THE WHITEBOARD, ENTITLED "REFRESHMENTS AND BEVERADGES INCOMINGS AND OUTGOINGS"
Brian: I buy 80 tea bags a week, 5 of us in the team are in the tea fund, and we each drink 4 cups a day, I know exactly how many tea bags, we are using.
Boss: Lucy are you taking all this down for the minutes?
Lucy: Yes, I will catch up with Brian later for the exact figures
Brian: So either somebody is having 2 tea bags in their tea, which I doubt very much because nobody except me likes a strong cup of tea.
LUCY LETS OUT A GIGGLE.
Boss: Is there something you find funny Lucy
Lucy: Sorry, it rhymes I noticed when I was writing it down " nobody except me likes a strong cup of tea"
BOSS GIVES LUCY A LOOK OF I HAVE SHAGGED YOU TWICE, I AM NOT GOING TO SHAG YOU AGAIN IF YOU COME OUT WITH SHIT LIKE THAT. (IT INVOLVES LOOKING AT HER CLEAVAGE AND THEN SHAKING HIS HEAD)
Brian: Lucy I will provide you with the list of how people like their tea along with the data from the refreshments and beverages spreadsheet.
Lucy: Thank you Brian
Mark: Do you count the tea bags after you buy them from the shop to make sure there are 80 in the packet, it could be the shop that is ripping you off.
Brian: Yes, during the transfer process from the packet to the jar I count every one of them, and I also take into account any excess due to annual leave sickness or flexi leave.
Mark: What about spillages, do you account for them?
Brian: There are no spillages, they are called tea bags because the tea is contained within the bag.
Mark: Cleaners, what about them, they all look like they like a nice cup of tea
Brian: No I lock the cupboard at the end of every day, and it is a cup of nice tea not a nice cup of tea.
Brian: And besides Mark you are not even in the tea fund, you opted out remember?
MARK COVERS HIS MAN UTD MUG (OTHER FOOTBALL TEAMS ARE AVAILABLE) WITH HIS HANDS SITS BACK, AND STAYS QUIET
END