British Comedy Guide

Changing room banter

SCENE FROM A FOOTBALL TEAM'S DRESSING ROOM BEFORE A GAME IN DUBLIN - NEW PLAYER WHO WANTS TO MAKE HIMSELF POPULAR AMONGST HIS NEW TEAM-MATES HEARS A RUMOUR THAT THE CAPTAIN HAS A MASSIVE SCROTUM.

MACKER: Hey Joxer, I heard your 'bags' are so big that when you retire from playing you are going to become the first team's kit man!

THERE IS A SLIGHT CHUCKLE FROM AROUND THE DRESSING ROOM.

JOXER: Ha ha, Macker. Fancy yourself as a comedian as well as a striker, do you?

MACKER: I do actually, Joxer. I've heard that not only are your 'bags' around your knees. Just lie you on your back, fill your 'bags' up with hot air and you'd have Phileas Fogg 'Around The World In 79 Days'!

THE DRESSING ROOM ERUPTS WHILE JOXER BEGINS TO LIGHTEN UP AND SEE THE FUNNY SIDE. THEY ALL PROCEED TO START CHANGING INTO THEIR NEW HOME STRIP. JOXER IS STANDING THERE IN HIS BRIEFS.

MACKER: What I've been told is true, Joxer. I tell ya, if my old head-master walked in here in a Gestapo out-fit we all couldn't focus on more of a 'b*llocks'!

THE DRESSING ROOM ERUPTS ONCE AGAIN. JOXER WALKS OVER TO MACKER & THEY SHAKE HANDS.

JOXER: Welcome Macker, you're going to fit in well at this club.

THE OCCUPANTS OF THE DRESSING ROOM APPLAUD & CHEER.

END OF SCENE.

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