FX: PHONE RINGS
OPERATOR:
Police speaking, how may I help?
TERRORIST:
Right, now listen carefully; 'cause I'm only gonna say this once...
OPERATOR:
Pardon?
TERRORIST:
I said... look, this ISN'T a game, okay!?
OPERATOR:
You're going to have to speak up a bit, love! I can barely hear you.
TERRORIST:
Listen, I have planted a bomb in the men's toilets of the Cock Inn pub, got it!?
OPERATOR:
The COCK Inn pub?
TERRORIST:
Yes - in the men's toilets.
OPERATOR:
Listen lovey, do you realise it's actually a criminal offence to waste police time?
TERRORIST:
What, you think this is a hoax?
OPERATOR:
Well, it does sound a bit far-fetched. I mean, who in their right mind would give that sort of name to a pub?
TERRORIST:
Listen, if you don't believe it exists - Google it!
OPERATOR:
Err, excuse me; I'm not typing the word 'cock' into a work computer! And besides, the burden of proof really ought to be on YOUR shoulders; not mine.
TERRORIST:
Okay look, if you want proof; then how about THIS for proof!?
FX: EXPLOSION
OPERATOR:
I'm sorry; I didn't quite catch that, love? There was a bit of interference on the line. (BEAT) Hello?
END