More gags than a weekend with Max Mosley

Just a few I've thrown together and would very much appreciate some (constructive) responses to, if you would be so kind.

Anyone who fancies using any of them by all means do so, but it would be nice if you were to ask first.

Muchos gracias.

Looking after the animals on a country estate has put me off frying eggs. I'm a gamekeeper turned poacher.

Schrodinger's favourite TV show? Dead Cat or No Dead Cat. Pavlov's dogs love it too, mostly when the phone rings.

First round of the Octopus Champions League tonight. Winner is the first to ten tickles.(own up, who thought I was going to make an "8 legs" joke there..?)

I was in charge of IT at our local fire station until it burned down. I forgot to put in a firewall.

I'm so old, I can remember when the only people who had "swag" wore hooped jumpers and masks.

The first rule of Procrastination Club is... ooh look, Pointless is on.

Quote: AndyGilder @ July 17 2013, 1:27 PM BST

Just a few I've thrown together and would very much appreciate some (constructive) responses to, if you would be so kind.

Anyone who fancies using any of them by all means do so, but it would be nice if you were to ask first.

Muchos gracias.

Looking after the animals on a country estate has put me off frying eggs. I'm a gamekeeper turned poacher.

Schrodinger's favourite TV show? Dead Cat or No Dead Cat. Pavlov's dogs love it too, mostly when the phone rings.

First round of the Octopus Champions League tonight. Winner is the first to ten tickles.(own up, who thought I was going to make an "8 legs" joke there..?)

I was in charge of IT at our local fire station until it burned down. I forgot to put in a firewall.

I'm so old, I can remember when the only people who had "swag" wore hooped jumpers and masks.

The first rule of Procrastination Club is... ooh look, Pointless is on.

View original

The first one has a gist of a good joke in there, but its a bit too structured

Second one is inspired, really like it

Quote: sootyj @ July 17 2013, 1:37 PM BST

The first one has a gist of a good joke in there, but its a bit too structured

Second one is inspired, really like it

View original

Cheers. I've had about three goes at trying to structure that first one so it flows - just can't seem to get it right!

I love eggs but there's a copy of monopoly and a deck of cards in my frying pan.

I'm a poacher turned game keeper.

Damn you...

Hey I like your jokes and I'm pretty jealous of the deal or no deal one

Hate to be so culinary pedantic but you do't poach eggs in a frying pan.

Good stuff, really liked the last one.

The new Tim Vine.Funny guy.

I'm with most of the others, I like #4 a lot. The first one was fine for me, too, I don't think it needs ot be rewritten.

The rest are all OK, but I can take or leave them.