Bursting Plastic Bubbles
Short story by Jakob Jensen
For 18 years I had to decide between two conclusions:
Approved - Not Approved
For my work I got my own office and a good salary.
Maybe I would had liked my job more if it was not for the fact that I had to read 70-100 pages about numbers, jurisdictions, laws, explanations, statistics, documents, technical drawings, forms, figures, clarifications and opinions.
Before I could stamp my conclusion on the last page and start all over
with a new case.
Would it have some impact on something, if I made a wrong conclusion in one of my cases?
Not really, even though if I made a wrong decision in all of my cases, everything would be just fine after the year had passed. Because by then we would have received all the factual tax information about the citizens, and could adjust the citizens accounts to the government by collecting or paying
some money.
But my boss would notice it and then I would be fired.
Everyday there were new cases arriving to my desk. The cases piled up on my desk, in my drawers and on my floor.
It felt like being in a filled paper basket.
But I shouldn't complain. My life had been better than most people's. My parents had always been caring for me and my little brother. We never lacked love or money growing up.
They were very knowingly people my parents and they always knew what was best for me and my brother, and we would not disappoint them.
Once I stopped playing soccer in the middle of the season without telling my parents about it. When they discovered that I had quitted before finishing what I began. They were very disappointed in me.
They were so disappointed that for six months they completely gave up on me. Every time they looked at me, there was a shiny tear in each of their eyes and they had a facial expression which said to me: "There are standing the remains of our lost son, whom we thought could do something with his life, but properly will end up with a life of drug abuse financed by robbing old people and
summerhouses."
Fortunately they forgave me with time, but they never forgot the incident.
If I had forgotten to vacuum my room or wash the dishes my parents would get that look in their eyes again and say to me "This is like the time you gave up on your soccer practice, where do you think this kind of behavior will take you in life?" Then they would go to the bathroom and lock the door and sob.
They also thought that it would be best for me to become a head clerk in public affairs. It was a good and respectable job. When I finally got the job as head clerk, my parents renamed me to: My son the head clerk of public affairs when talking about me.
I met my wife at the end of my study. She was a beautiful and interesting woman. She was also a very knowingly person, so in our relationship she always knew what was best for me. Apparently that's what works for me.
I should be a happy man with this rich life I've had. But I have for a long time been having these feelings of bitterness. They began to appear a few years before I met my wife, then they disappeared for some time, but then they returned again when I started in my job.
It's like I become indifferent to everything around me and a bitter person to be around.
One day I stood in the copy room and waited for an email to be printed out and then a life changing experience happened. On a shelf in the room I saw there were some plastic materials with air bubbles in it, the kind of material you use for packaging.
The plastic material looked so soft and inviting and I felt that I immediately had to touch it.
It was such a wonderful feeling to touch this smooth, soft and elastic plastic material. I let my hand caress the material for minutes. Then I began to let my finger playing with the air bubbles in the plastic material back and forward, harder and harder to one of them bursted.
*POP*
First I was shocked but afterwards I was flooded with a sense of joy and pleasure.
Immediately I popped three plastic bubbles more. How wonderful it was, it tickled my finger each time. I quickly realized that I couldn't stand here in the copy room and deal with my new found obsession. If it's one thing people working with tax couldn't accept, it was any deviation from normality.
So I went back to my office and got a big folder. Took it back with me to the copy room and filled it with the plastic material.
When I came back to the office, I closed my door, sat the busy sign on the door, and used the rest of the day to burst air bubbles in the plastic material.
When I got home that day I was in a brilliant mood, the bitterness was gone.
The following month I looked forward to each day I was going to work. I could also concentrate better about my work because the bitterness was gone. So now I could almost keep up with the pace my boss demanded from me, enough to get her of my back.
From that time on I sat the busy sign on my door every day between 1-3.20 pm. Then I turned my blinds in the window so that it was impossible to see into my office from outside the courtyard. I also took the handset off the phone, so nobody could call me. Then I unlocked my bottom drawer and pulled out the plastic material and squeezed all the air bubbles out of it.
POP, POP, POP, POP, POP, POP, POP
I discovered that there was a great difference in the bursting experience, whether it was a new or old roll of plastic material. Also which supplier had delivered the material or the diameter of the plastic bubbles or the volume of air in the bubbles. It all gave the experience a different dimension.
Over the years there were some episodes where I almost was revealed in my little obsession. But I never got caught.
That was until last week.
I was sitting and bursting air bubbles in the plastic material in my drawer when a voice from outside my window said: "What on earth is our head clerk doing in his drawer?"
My boss and a colleague was standing outside my window and looked at me bursting air bubbles. I had forgotten to turn the blinds to.
I couldn't get myself off the hook of that one, so I just said "I'm bursting air bubbles in the plastic material, it feels great, and you should try it"
Now my secret obsession is revealed to everyone in the department and my boss have removed all the plastic material from the copy room and my bitterness is back.
People from work are avoiding me. I no longer feel like going to lunch with my colleagues anymore.
And my boss has also summoned me for an employee talk at the end of this week.
I know I will be fired within a short while.
Thankfully my parents are not alive to experience this great shame. But the big question is how will my wife feel about all this? Would she be able to understand?
Well I don't think I will tell her right away. I don't feel ready for telling it yet.
When I finally decide to tell her the truth I'm pretty sure she will be cool about it.
I was told by my union that I have 6 month's paid notice when they fire me.
I'm really looking forward to that.
Then I will find a good place where nobody can disturb me.
And burst air bubbles from plastic material all day.
